


To the Waters and the Wild

by rainbow_nerds



Series: Selkie Bucky [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Captain America Steve Rogers/Modern Bucky Barnes, Creature Fic, Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magical Realism, Minor Character Death, Nightmares, Old Peggy Carter, Selkie Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, it's barely mentioned and in the past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:21:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 22,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24560731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbow_nerds/pseuds/rainbow_nerds
Summary: Bucky was still a pup when he found the frozen wreckage. He almost didn’t notice the glint of red, white and blue shining through the ice, but when he saw it, he gazed at it in shock. He recognised that pattern.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Series: Selkie Bucky [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2187591
Comments: 165
Kudos: 249





	1. Chapter 1

Bucky first came across the wreck when he was very young, still just a pup. His mother had brought him and his sister to the beach, as they did every week during school holidays, and they were allowed to put on their skins and swim to their heart’s content. Of course, there were rules. He knew never to swim beyond the bay, outside the reserve where they knew seals were protected.

On one particular day, however, Bucky was feeling rebellious. Becca had been annoying him all the way there in the car, and he wanted to get away from her. So he swam out, further and deeper than he had ever before, until the water grew cold. It was an unnatural cold, and even his soft sealskin and the blubber that protected him in this form wasn’t enough to prevent a shiver from running through his body.

Every instinct which had been drilled into him about danger in the waters was screaming at him to turn around, go back to the warm bay where his mother would be waiting with a hug and a picnic to enjoy. But there was something about the wreck in front of him that drew him onward. It wasn’t like the shipwrecks he read about in books, or saw on the television. This was almost like a spaceship.

And there was no way Bucky Barnes, aged eight and a half, would ever pass up the chance to take a look inside a real life spaceship.

He hesitated only briefly, glancing back the way he had come in case Becca or his mom were coming after him, and then swam through the broken window at the front. The cold was even deeper here, colder than anything Bucky had felt before, with pockets of ice coating what looked to be electronics and complex machinery.

He almost didn’t notice the glint of red, white and blue shining through the ice, but when he saw it, he gazed at it in shock. He recognised that pattern.  _ That _ was Captain America’s shield. Which meant that this wasn’t a spaceship at all. He turned and swam back to the bay, shedding his sealskin as he emerged from the water and ran to his mother.

“Mom, I found Captain America! He’s in a big ship under the water and he’s buried in ice!” He babbled, as soon as she was within hearing distance. She looked at him incredulously before laughing.

“Is this a new game you’re playing? You’ve got one hell of an imagination, I’ll give you that,” She ruffled his damp curls and offered him a plastic cup of soda. He frowned.

“It’s not a game, I swear it’s real! It’s out there!” He pointed in the direction he had found the ship, but paused when he realised he would get in trouble for going beyond the bay. He would let her believe it was a game, for now. At least, until he could figure out how to rescue Captain America from the weird ice in the ship.

The years passed, and Bucky grew up. They went to that bay often, and whenever he could, he would sneak away and visit Captain America in the icy ship. At some point, after the first few years, he started calling him Steve in his head.

Bucky couldn’t talk in his seal form, but he could communicate through whistles, so he sat with Steve and kept him company, telling him stories about the surface and what he had missed, though he was sure Steve couldn’t understand him. As he grew, he wondered what Steve was like. The history books said a lot about him, but they were always more focused on the hero than the person.

When he was sixteen, Bucky’s friends teased him for preferring trips to the bay with his family during the summer over going to parties and meeting up with girls. He had never told anyone about the ship since his mother, that first day, and he knew nobody would believe him if he told them now. They would probably make fun of him even more, thinking he had an imaginary underwater friend.

Plus, there was the whole  _ being a mythical creature who could turn into a seal _ thing he would need to explain first. On the whole, it was easier to just ignore the teasing, and vent it all out to Steve when he managed to slip away to the now-familiar chill of the Valkyrie.

“Jake invited me to a party next week, but I don’t know if I wanna go,” He settled into a hollow in the ice perfectly sized for him, “He called my coat stupid the other day, and I get that he doesn’t know it’s my skin, but it really hurt. I’d rather come talk to you, anyway.”

He didn’t always manage to visit Steve on his trips to the bay, and there were times he was stuck playing with Becca in the shallow water, returning home feeling dejected and worried that Steve would miss him. But he visited as often as he could, and every time he did he tried some new method for freeing Steve. 

He tried pulling the chunk of ice he was in out of the ship, but it was wedged in, frozen to the ground, and Bucky was nowhere near strong enough to succeed, especially in his seal form.

He tried bringing down thermoses of hot water, and heating pads, but the chill inside the Valkyrie swept away any of the warmth they provided before the ice had a chance to melt. On one occasion, he had even tried to chip away at the ice with a piece of broken metal from the ship, but he stopped when he began to worry that he could hurt Steve that way, if he went too far.

He graduated high school, and moved away from home to go to college. He still went back to Steve on his breaks, unable to stay away for long. He wasn’t sure if it was his imagination, or if the water felt colder the longer he spent away. 

“How have you been, Stevie? It’s been a while.” Bucky was on spring break, and he had convinced his friends to come with him to the seaside, slipping away while they slept in to visit Steve. “I started college, but I don’t know what I want to major in yet. My roommate is cool, I think you’d like him.” Bucky sighed, “If only I knew how to help you,” Before he turned and swam back out, not wanting to risk his friends coming to find him.

He moved to the small seaside town near the bay as soon as he finished college, renting a little cottage with the money he made working in the small corner shop, which sold everything from handcrafted jewellery to milk and bread. With the freedom and proximity, he was able to visit Steve more and more often. By his twenty fifth birthday, Bucky was visiting Steve on an almost daily - or, more often nightly- basis. He even started collecting shells and stones from the seabed and turning them into jewellery, which he then sold in the shop.

He made a necklace with an iridescent shell which had caught his eye, wrapped in wires he pulled from an open console in the Valkyrie. He fashioned it so it could be worn in both his human and seal form, and he described it to Steve the next time he visited.

“It’s like having a part of you with me, even when I’m up there.” He swiped at the shell with his fin, deep in thought. “I think it's pretty..." and then he sighed, "I wish i could show you."

He had made friends in the village, many of the residents knowing Winifred from their visits in his childhood, and the older population seemed to know - or at least suspect - that the seals in the bay were not all they seemed. But they were kind, and they never treated Bucky as any less than one of their own.

He was happy there, and even agreed to a birthday party in the small bar in town, though he declined to drink, something deep in his core telling him he should go swimming tonight. He said his goodbyes shortly after midnight, and made his way to the bay.

The air was crisp and cool on his skin as he stripped out of his clothes, before pulling his sealskin tight around him, feeling the comforting shift in his muscles and the protective blubber enveloping him like a blanket. He slipped into the water and swam the familiar route out to the Valkyrie. 

It was dark as usual, but he noticed a faint glow coming from some of the instruments. He swam over to Steve and settled himself in front of him. He told Steve about his party, about his birthday. He let out the series of bubbles and whistles which constituted a laugh in this form as he related how Sam - his neighbour, and one of the few people who had never even tried to hide the fact that he knew what Bucky was, and never treated him differently - had attempted to bake him a cake in the shape of a seal, which had turned out looking more like a flabby grey football.

He stayed down there with Steve all night, returning to the surface only when he needed a breath, before diving back down. He drifted off after a while. It wasn’t something he tried to make a habit of, waking up underwater was always a weird experience, and it took time for him to become aware of his surroundings. The temperature in the Valkyrie was almost pleasant by the time the sunlight became visible through the dappled waves outside the ship and woke him up.

He wasn’t sure if it was the sleepy disorientation or the brightening water, but it almost seemed as though the ice around Steve had grown thinner. He looked cold. Looking back, Bucky wasn’t sure why he did it, his only thought being that he needed to help Steve stay warm. He returned to the surface, filling his lungs, before diving back down. He shed his sealskin and almost immediately felt the pressure of the water around him. 

He draped the skin over Steve where he lay in the ice, willing his lungs to stop screaming. He couldn’t see very well without the large eyes of his seal form, though he could feel the ice melting. Something cold, yet soft brushed against his cheek, he felt the rush of being dragged through the water, and then he was gasping in a breath of air and being led to shore.

He looked up into the eyes he had spent so many years imagining, and Steve Rogers smiled back at him; unfrozen, alive, and holding Bucky’s sealskin.

“I think this belongs to you?”


	2. Chapter 2

Bucky sat on the rocky shore and blinked at the image before him, of Steve Rogers holding out his sealskin. He was shivering in the early morning sun, but he couldn’t take the coat from Steve, not when he didn’t know the meaning behind the gesture.

He looked around, spotted his clothes where he had left them, and pulled himself to his feet in spite of the stinging in his eyes and his lungs from staying under the water without the protection of his coat. Steve thankfully averted his eyes as Bucky quickly pulled on his jeans and shirt, leaving it unbuttoned for the sake of time.

After ensuring his dignity was at least somewhat intact, he turned back to Steve and cleared his throat to indicate he was decent.

“Uh… Hi,” Bucky winced internally at his ineloquence. Steve was still clutching the sealskin with uncertainty, looking between it and Bucky. 

“Hey,” he replied. At least they were both equally coherent, Bucky thought. A shiver ran through Steve, which called Bucky to attention.

“We should get you dried up, get some comfier clothes.” Steve nodded, eyes going to Bucky’s tight jeans and eyes narrowing. Bucky gestured for him to follow, and he led the way along the bay towards his house, thankful for the fact that it was still too early to encounter Sam out for his morning run, or Mr. Williams out with his dog. Steve was looking at everything they passed with a strange intensity, which only grew more fixed when they reached the front door.

Bucky didn’t break the silence until they were inside, wary of what Steve would say. His mind was racing the entire time, wondering what Steve would say. He made his way to his room right away, gesturing Steve into the bathroom, but when he turned, Steve was still standing in the doorway.

“I know you,” Steve blurted out, frowning down at the sealskin. “You were there, in the water. I-” He fell silent, and Bucky took a step back down the hall, pausing his task at the expression on Steve’s face. He didn’t know what to say, so he reached out, leading Steve gently into the room and handing him the softest towel he owned

“I don’t really remember much,” Steve continued, as Bucky searched through his shirts for something comfortable which would fit Steve. “I don't - I remember you talking to me, except you were - you were different.” Bucky nodded, wondering how he could explain, but Steve kept speaking.

“I remember you coming, but it’s foggy; until the last few times I wasn’t really aware of - of time passing.” Bucky stopped what he was doing and swore under his breath. He tried to speak but Steve shook his head, face hardening.

“I crashed in 1945. How long has it been?” He asked, bluntly. Bucky told him, and Steve nodded grimly, looking around the bedroom. Bucky's room wasn't particularly high tech, he didn't have a television in there, and he had left his laptop in the living room the previous day. However, the room was undeniably modern, with extension cords along the wall, a phone charger by the bed and an e-reader resting on his bedside table. Even his outdated music system which included a CD player must have looked strange and new in the eyes of someone who had been asleep for the better part of the last century.

There was silence as Steve seemed to retreat into himself, still clutching Bucky’s coat tightly. Bucky was surprised that he wasn’t bothered by this, but he decided to stow that fact away for later and focus instead on Steve.

“Are you alright?” Bucky asked, and it was a stupid question, but what else could he say?

“Yeah, I just… I had a date.” Steve looked forlorn, standing in his damp uniform and shivering slightly.

"Here," Bucky offered the pile of clothes, and Steve stared at them blankly. "I promise we'll talk, but you need to warm up first." Steve nodded and took the clothes, awkwardly trying to hand Bucky his coat back.

Bucky stepped back quickly.

"I- could you just leave it with your uniform, and I'll get them both when you're done?" Bucky asked, pointing Steve once again to the bathroom. Steve looked confused for a moment, but then he flushed and nodded, following Bucky and listening while he explained how to adjust the temperature.

Steve put the clean clothes down, hanging Bucky's coat carefully on the door, and then paused. Bucky realised he was still standing there, and backed out of the room again.

"Sorry, I'll just be-" he featured vaguely towards the kitchen. "Yeah.." He could almost have sworn he saw a faint smile on Steve's lips as the door closed behind him, but he pushed the thought aside and busied himself with making tea and trying to come up with a plan of action.

First things first, make sure Steve was okay. That was the most important thing. Bucky tried to imagine what it must be like - to wake up, only to learn that seventy years had passed and everything you knew was gone. He shuddered. Steve was taking this far better than he would have done, had the roles been reversed.

Steve re-emerged just as the tea was ready to pour, looking soft and incredibly vulnerable in Bucky's worn out sweatpants and college sweatshirt. He smiled gratefully at the proffered cup and sat down opposite Bucky at the kitchen table.

"So, I guess you probably have questions?" Bucky asked, at the same time as Steve said,

"You're a selkie, aren't you?" Bucky’s eyes bugged, but he nodded. No point pretending otherwise..

"I guessed, when you wouldn't take back the coat. My ma used to tell me stories about the fair folk, though I never really believed." Bucky nodded.

"Most people don't. Very few of us actually spend time out here, away from the courts. Selkies- we kind of tread the line between mortal and sídhe." Steve fiddled with the handle of his mug.

"Ma told me once that if you take a selkie's coat, it's like you own them. Said if you give it back, it's worse." Bucky shrugged. He wasn't far off.

"Taking a coat from a selkie, it's… it's not exactly what they say. I wouldn't be forced to obey by magic or anything, but the coat _is_ a part of me. I couldn’t stray too far, not without it being painful. And I guess, in the wrong hands that's almost as bad." Steve was listening intently as he explained, and showed no sign of wanting to interrupt, so Bucky continued his explanation. 

"When it's given freely, though - that's different. It's a sign of trust. Of devotion. If you give your skin to someone, and they return it in kind, it means they accept the offer, and it binds you together. As far as anyone has been able to figure, it's permanent. It rarely happens accidentally, but when it does, it can be… bad. Really bad." Bucky remembers the horror stories his mother had told him, of selkies who gave their coat to the wrong person, or who accepted it back without thinking of the consequences and winced internally.

"You gave me your skin," Steve said, in a hushed tone, and Bucky shrugged.

"You were cold." 

Steve made a complicated expression and drained the last of his tea. Bucky refilled the mugs, though the pot had grown lukewarm. He started the kettle and brewed a fresh pot, then gestured to the sofa in the living room, which was connected by an open archway to the kitchen.

They sat on opposite ends of the small sofa, facing toward each other.

"How are you feeling?" Bucky asked, when Steve remained quiet. It was a pointless question, really.Steve looked so blank, so overwhelmed, that Bucky felt he knew the answer even when Steve didn't answer directly.

"I knew things had changed, that time had passed, from the things you told me over the years. I guess a part of me didn't want to believe it was real. But I guess it is." The devastated expression on his face, combined with the heaviness in his voice were all Bucky needed to reach over and place a comforting hand on Steve's leg. He was tempted to give him a hug, but given that this was technically their first time meeting, he thought it might be better to hold off on that.

Then Steve's words finally hit him.

"You heard what I said to you? You understood?" Steve smiled at him, and Bucky could see a clear glint of mischief for the first time peeking through the melancholy.

"Fuck, Steve, I've been treating you like my diary since I was a kid! I was a seal! And you understood it all?" Steve waved his hand in a so-so gesture.

"At first, no. I was definitely unconscious most of the time, but the more you visited, the more aware I became - the more I understood your whistles and clicks to be language. I've always been good at figuring out languages." He shrugged, and Bucky groaned.

"So basically, what you're saying is you know all my deepest secrets from the last however many years, and I know next to nothing about you?"

"Hey, come on, I know for a fact that you learned about me in high school, because you whined for a day about how you wanted to wake me up just to march me into the classroom and get an automatic A."

"Since _high school,_ Steve? That was freshman year!" Bucky spluttered, thinking about everything he had confessed to Steve since then, and this time Steve actually laughed, though it was quiet.

"Still, you know things about me." Bucky grumbled something about barely scraping a C in that class, then added;

"That's not really you though. That's just what history decided you were. It doesn't tell me your high school crush, or what your favourite food is, or… well, any number of things you know about me." Steve had turned pink, but a soft smile played across his features.

"Ask me anything then, we can even the playing field a little."

So Bucky did. They sat there for hours, just talking. They took turns asking questions, as Bucky learned about Steve’s childhood, about his mother, the army and even a few snippets about Agent Carter, who Steve spoke about with a glisten in his eye. In turn, Bucky filled Steve in on the cliff's notes version of what had changed in the past 70-odd years. He really wished he had paid more attention to the history and sociology classes he had taken before deciding on a major.

Bucky prepared them some simple food for lunch, and then ordered more from the small takeout place around the corner when it became clear that Steve's metabolism was too much for his admittedly sparse pantry.

Bucky decided to ease Steve into modern technology, starting with showing him how the TV worked. Steve took to it with an ease that Bucky hadn't expected, but which seemed to be in line with everything he had learned that day. Steve was whip-smart, even though he was clearly in mourning he took everything in, accepted what he was told, and often asked questions which had Bucky subtly referring to google to answer. 

They were watching a movie - chosen carefully from the collection that Bucky still had as something which would be enjoyable for them both, without being too overwhelming for Steve, or result in too many questions. Steve had been enthralled by the animation, the art style and attention to detail, and Bucky made a note to add more art to his mental "welcome to the 21st century, Steve" list. Bucky stifled a yawn about halfway through, and Steve noticed. 

"You must be exhausted. You stayed up most of last night with me." Bucky shrugged and glanced out the window. Night had begun to fall, and though it was earlier than he usually slept, Steve had a point.

They finished the movie, and then Bucky helped pull out the sofa into a bed, fetching sheets and blankets from the linen closet. They had a brief argument over who would sleep there, but Steve stubbornly put an end to it by climbing in and feigning sleep immediately. Bucky snorted in defeat.

"Fine. Goodnight, punk." He called as he switched off the light and went into his own room. He left the door open, telling Steve's still faux-sleeping form that he was doing so, and that he would be just across the hall if he was needed.

Bucky fell asleep quickly. Despite having spent the entire day on the sofa doing nothing but talking, he was exhausted, and barely paused to change out of his clothes from the previous night before flopping into bed and drifting off.

He woke with a start, sitting up abruptly. It was still dark outside, and he couldn’t remember what he had been dreaming about, so he wasn’t sure what had prompted him to wake up. He was about to lie down and go back to sleep when he heard it. A soft, muffled whine came from the next room. He crept into the living room and checked in on Steve, who was lying ramrod straight on the sofa bed - blankets askew and face clenched tight in anguish. Another whimper escaped him, and the clear pain, combined with the stiffness of his body told Bucky everything he needed to know.

He didn’t know much about nightmares, but he knew enough that he didn’t dare touch Steve to wake him up in case it made it worse. After a moment’s hesitation, he sat carefully on the edge of the sofa bed and started humming a song he remembered his mother singing when he was a child.

He had never been able to get a grasp on the lyrics - not understanding the language, but the tune always reminded him of home: of the gentle waves and the freedom he felt when he swam.

Slowly, Steve’s face relaxed, and the pained sounds began to subside. Bucky continued to hum, changing tune to another soft lullaby until Steve rolled over and curled into his side, sleeping peacefully. Bucky shifted slightly on the bed, wondering if he should go back to his own bed. Once he was sure the nightmare had fully subsided, he stood and walked to the door.

“Stay.” The soft plea was hardly audible, but Bucky turned to see Steve, curled exactly as he had been but with his eyes open. Bucky nodded, and returned to his spot on the bed, careful not to move too far into Steve’s space. He settled in, half sitting and half lying against the headboard.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, in a hushed voice. Steve shrugged.

“I was back there. Then. I crashed, but this time I didn’t freeze. The water was rushing in and I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t see, I-” Steve stopped with a choked off sob, and Bucky lowered himself to lay next to him, reaching out a hand to run through his hair in the way that always comforted him. He hoped it would work for Steve.

“It’s okay, you’re safe. You didn’t drown, you’re safe.” Steve reached out then, pulling Bucky into a tight hug. Bucky hugged him back, feeling the sobs which began to wrack through Steve’s body at last.

“They’re gone,” he choked out, finally. “They’re all gone.” Bucky’s heart broke as he held Steve through the sobs, incapable of offering any more than gentle comforting sounds and holding him as close as he dared.

“I’m so sorry Steve. I’m here. I’m sorry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! I promise future chapters will have more happiness, but Steve still has a lot to process here!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! This fic took a backseat for a while, but I haven't forgotten it and I've been writing ahead gradually. It's looking like the final count will be six chapters and an epilogue, but it may well end up longer!

It had been almost six months since that night. The night Steve had awoken, and Bucky had brought him home, held him close as he mourned everything he had known. Steve seemed to be adapting well to the new world in which he found himself, but Bucky still occasionally saw him drift into silence on hearing strains of some old familiar song, or at a whiff of a familiar scent. He had cried for an hour when Snow White came on, and he told Bucky how he had saved up for weeks to see it in the theatre. How it had been the first time he felt a spark of joy since losing his mother the previous year.

Bucky hadn’t hesitated to pull him into a hug, then. Since that first night, Steve had proven himself to be something of a teddy bear, and Bucky was always more than happy to indulge in his need to be held. After all, Steve had been frozen without human touch for close to a century, so who would Bucky be if he were to deny him something as simple as a hug?

And when Steve hugged him back, well. Bucky wasn’t exactly opposed to being wrapped up in Steve’s strong arms either. 

When Sam had stopped by the morning after Steve slept in Bucky’s house for the first time, he had found them wrapped up in each other, fast asleep. Bucky had woken up to his best friend’s scandalised cry of alarm and Steve had gone unearthly still.

“Care to explain what I’m seeing here?” Sam asked, and Bucky indicated for him to move into the kitchen to wait. Thankfully, Sam seemed to pick up on the tension, because he vanished into the other room and a few moments later Bucky heard the familiar sound of his coffee machine starting up. Bucky stroked Steve’s arms gently until his grip began to loosen.

“It’s alright, Steve, it’s just Sam. Remember I talked about him? My neighbor?” Steve nodded, brow furrowed. Bucky had gone out to speak with Sam while Steve remained in bed, not quite ready for the company.

Bucky had done his best to explain, and to his surprise, Sam had actually believed him.

"Dude, my best friend turns into a seal and goes swimming in the ocean every night. A resurrected superhero isn't actually as much of a stretch as you seem to think it is."

Since then, Bucky and Sam had shared the responsibility for Steve’s cultural education, and Bucky often got home from work to find the pair of them talking or reading on the sofa. Steve’s cuddly tendencies didn’t seem to be limited to Bucky, always having an arm draped around Sam’s shoulders, or his feet resting in his lap.

Bucky tried to tell himself he wasn’t jealous, reminding himself that Steve having friends other than him was a _good_ thing. If the amused looks Sam sent him each time it happened were anything to judge by, he was more obvious than he wanted to be.

The first few weeks, Steve had slept on the sofa bed, but it became clear that the slight chill in the room — which lingered even in the height of summer this far north — was only making his nightmares worse. Bucky had made up his mind to convince Steve to swap rooms, but somehow, Steve had managed to talk him into sharing the bed with him instead, and Bucky couldn't say he minded that either. 

Steve still had nightmares, of course, but he was adamant that having Bucky’s warmth next to him helped remind him he was no longer frozen, and who was Bucky to argue with that, really? It had been a strange couple of months, and there had been plenty of speed bumps along the way, but Bucky felt that they were all beginning to adjust to this new arrangement.

He went to work, came home to Steve, visited with Sam, went out for a swim in the evenings, and went to bed with Steve.

“Hey, Bucky!” Bucky looked up from his breakfast to see Steve returning from his morning run with Sam. He was glad they had each other for that, because Sam had finally stopped bugging him to wake up at an obscene hour of the morning and join him. Somehow Sam never saw Bucky's midnight swims as sufficient exercise — something about it not actually being his human muscles getting the workout.

“Hey Steve, good run?” Steve hummed and stole some of Bucky’s toast, sitting down and dragging his chair close enough to drape himself over Bucky.

“Get off, jeez! You’re all sweaty!” Steve laughed and pulled away just enough that he wouldn’t wreck Bucky’s work clothes, but he kept a leg pressed against Bucky’s under the table as he grabbed another slice of toast. Bucky figured their run must have brought them closer to shore than usual, and Steve always needed extra physical contact after straying too close to the sea.

“You going for groceries today?” Steve asked, and Bucky hummed an affirmative through the gulp of orange juice he had taken to distract himself from Steve, just a little.

“I was thinking, maybe I could come with?” Bucky raised an eyebrow, noticing the careful way Steve spoke, the tightness in his leg where they touched.

“You sure?” He asked. Steve had been doing great lately, and Bucky knew Sam had been trying to get him out of the house more but he had been wary of going out anywhere with too many people around.

Steve nodded, expression determined, and Bucky let a smile spread across his face. 

“Sure thing, I’ll swing by after work to get you.”

“I can meet you there! Sam pointed out where it was today, I know the way.” Bucky just shrugged, telling Steve what time to meet him, and where.

Steve exhaled and nodded sharply, standing abruptly to go for a shower, a spring in his step. Bucky stopped him and pulled him into a quick but tight hug, despite the sheen of sweat. Steve’s smile had been blinding in return, and Bucky watched him go with fondness.

He called goodbye to Steve as he left for work, and received a muffled “See you!” in return over the spray of the shower.

His smile hardly faltered all day, even though business was quiet and he spent most of the day standing alone behind the checkout, tapping his fingers on the countertop.

Mrs Johnson gave him a knowing look when she came in for her daily lottery ticket and a carton of milk.

“When are you going to introduce the rest of us to this boy of yours?” She asked, and Bucky turned red. Steve may have tried to avoid the crowds, but it was still a small town. All it had taken was one sighting of Steve running with Sam; one mention of Bucky having a new man in the house whom he had brought out to the cliffs nearby to watch the fireworks on the fourth of July. Rumours spread fast.

“I _know_ I’ve told you before that it isn't like that, Betty.” She laughed and tutted.

“It may not be yet, but I know that look!” She teased as she accepted her change and shuffled back out of the store. By the end of his shift, Bucky was bouncing on the balls of his feet, passing over the keys of the old register to the other employee who took the evening shift, and practically skipping out the door to meet Steve.

The grocery store was small — family owned like most other businesses in this small town. Bucky hoped this was a good thing; the products would surely be jarring enough for Steve without having to deal with the sensory overload that was a Target or Walmart.

Steve was waiting for him outside the door, wearing a dark baseball hat and one of the shirts Bucky had picked up for him so he wouldn't keep stretching out the shoulders of all Bucky's favourites. Steve smiled when he saw Bucky, face lighting up. 

"You good to go in?" Bucky asked, and Steve nodded. They walked into the store and Bucky greeted the cashier as he picked up a basket and handed it directly to Steve. Look, Steve may still have a way to go before he would be comfortable out in public, and maybe Bucky should just let him trail alongside him, but he had a genetically enhanced superhero _right there_ , no way was he going to haul the heavy load himself. He said as much in a hushed tone to Steve when he gave him a questioning look, and he was rewarded with Steve's ringing laugh.

A few heads turned towards them at the sound and Steve cringed inwards, so Bucky rested a hand reassuringly on his arm. Steve gave him a small smile and nodded.

"Let's do this. What's first on the list?" They made their way up and down the aisles, picking up everything Bucky had written on the list along with dozens of items Steve had taken an interest in and insisted he wanted to try — from poptarts and pizza bagels, to Reece’s peanut butter cups and at least six different varieties of potato chips.

Steve's eyes bugged at the price tags until Bucky reminded him about inflation, and he nodded.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Still though, I don't understand why bottled water is more expensive than some of the sodas!" Bucky had to admit he had no answer for that one, steering Steve down into the cleaning products aisle to pick up the last couple of items.

They made it home in one piece, and Steve went straight for the laptop, opening Google. Bucky put everything away and then came to sit next to him.

"How are you feeling?" He asked tentatively, and Steve looked up from the Wikipedia article he was reading about the development of the corn industry over the past century.

"I'm alright," he replied, "a little tired, I think. It was a lot to take in." Bucky nodded and opened his arms for Steve to curl into him. He moved the laptop so Steve could keep reading.

"So what's all this, then?" Steve perked up a little.

"Oh! Well, apparently soda is cheap compared to water because of the government subsidies for corn production, which were increased in the 80s. The sodas have corn syrup in them, so they can be sold cheaper. I also started reading about the inherent wastefulness of plastic bottles and its effect on ocean life, but it made me too angry so I switched over to corn." Bucky nodded along.

"Yeah, that's why I never have plastic bottles here. You kind of gain an appreciation for the preservation of ocean life when you technically _are_ ocean life." Steve laughed at that and closed down the laptop, leaning closer into Bucky's side. 

"Tell me what you like about being in the water." His voice was soft, and Bucky hesitated.

"Are you sure? I know the ocean is—"

"I don't think I can go in the water myself any time soon, especially now the weather is getting colder, but maybe I can start by picturing what it's like through your eyes. I think it could help." Bucky nodded and tried to figure out how to describe it.

"It's… you know that feeling when you're thirsty but you don't even realise it? And then you take a sip of water and you can feel it rushing through your body, and you suddenly feel energised because that thirst is gone and it was wearing you down without you even noticing?" Steve nodded, eyes wide as he looked at Bucky.

"When I put on my seal skin and dive into the water, that's what it feels like. Like I can do anything, be anyone." Steve smiled and Bucky thought that even if he had only managed to convey a fraction of what he felt when he swam, Steve still understood.

"It's freedom," Steve said, and Bucky nodded.

"Yeah. It is. There's no inhibitions, no responsibilities, I can just swim and explore and—"

"And find sad hundred-year-old men frozen in ice," Steve snorted, but his tone held a note of bitterness.

"—And find someone who will listen to me talk about my day, someone who will spend five minutes on Google and get mad about something I've been trying to get people to take seriously for most of my life," Bucky corrected, and Steve rolled his eyes.

"Well, when you put it that way…" Bucky laughed and leaned back, telling Steve about the prettiest fish he had seen, the way the light refracted through the water differently at different times of day, how he preferred this time of year, when the water was crisp but not freezing, when his layers of blubber kept him safe and warm rather than making him feel like an overheated burrito.

"You'd be a cute burrito," Steve interrupted, poking him in the belly and Bucky laughed, trying not to get flustered by what was clearly a joke rather than a genuine compliment. He kept describing his favourite things about the ocean through dinner and into the night, until they were both yawning and half asleep.

They brushed their teeth and fell into bed, and when Steve inevitably woke up with a nightmare, Bucky was there to hold him through it.

Bucky went for a swim the next morning while Steve and Sam ran, and he visited the Valkyrie again, this time perching himself in the spot where Steve had been frozen all those years. He tried to picture the ocean through Steve's eyes, looking out at the inky blackness permeated by only a few beams of light in the distance. It was so cold. So lonely. He emerged an hour later with tears in his eyes just as Sam and Steve were jogging back to the house and he rushed to meet them, pulling Steve into the tightest hug he could manage.

"You alright, Bucky?" He asked, and Bucky wiped his eyes on the edge of his coat.

"I'm fine. You just— I don't know how you can do it, that's all."

"Do what?"

"This— get up, go for a run, go grocery shopping and research fucking _corn_ , after what you've been through. You're amazing, Steve." Steve turned pink and gave a small sad smile.

"Alright, I'm gonna head home. Morning to you too Bucky," Sam said, and turned towards his own house. "And put some actual clothes on!" Bucky looked down, realising he was still only wearing his sealskin. It did cover him, mostly, but Sam was right. He rushed over to grab his clothes and Steve answered him when he got back, now wearing pants at least.

"I keep going because I have to. If I didn't have you and Sam, well… I mean I wouldn't have woken up at all probably, but I would also probably be nowhere near where I am now. I'm not _okay —_ I’m far from it, really, but… I think I might be getting there, even if this is the closest I can ever get to water again."

Bucky thought he might understand a little of what Steve was saying, though the magnitude was still beyond him.

"I'm proud of you for even being this close," he said. "if I were you, I'd move to fucking Nebraska so I never had to see the ocean again." Steve smiled softly and shook his head.

"You'd never be happy in Nebraska. You're a Selkie, Buck. You _need_ the ocean."

"I said if I were you," Bucky clarified, " _You_ don't need to be by the ocean at all." 

"But this is where you are.” Steve met Bucky’s eyes, and Bucky felt his breath hitch. “It’s where Sam is. I'm not saying it's easy, you know it isn't. You’ve _seen_ how difficult it can get for me. But having you here makes it easier. I'd still have nightmares in Nebraska, but I wouldn't have you."

Bucky looked down at his bare feet in the sand, trying to remember that Steve meant these words to be friendly and nothing else.

Not falling in love with Steve Rogers was getting more and more difficult by the day.


	4. Chapter 4

It was a Tuesday afternoon when Bucky decided to do a little research of his own during his lunch break. He knew very little about the people Steve had known back in the day, other than what Steve had shared himself. He discovered to his dismay that the majority of those who had fought at Steve's side were gone. Bucky's heart broke a little when he saw some of the dates; Monty Falsworth had passed away only a month and a half before Bucky had gotten Steve free from the ice. They had been so close, and Steve had only just missed him.

There was one person still living, however, and Bucky approached Steve that evening with no small amount of nerves over how he should present the news. Should he just come right out and say it, or try to make it come up naturally in conversation? He didn't want it to seem like it was something he was hiding, but he also didn't want to spring it on him. 

In the end it was both simpler and more difficult than he could have expected.

"Hey Steve?" They had just eaten, and they were lounging on either end of the sofa, legs tangled together in the middle.

"Hm?" Steve sounded distracted by whatever he was reading on the screen of the laptop in front of him.

"I was just wondering, really, whether you've looked up anyone you used to know? Anyone from Before, I mean." Steve closed over the laptop and put it aside, looking intently at Bucky.

"No. I wanted to — typed their names a few times — but I could never hit enter to get the results. I want to know, I'm just… I couldn't do it on my own."

"I looked some of them up. I hope you don't mind, it was just that I wanted to put a face to the names in your stories," Bucky waited for a response from Steve, but he was quiet. His lips tightened and turned down in a shadow of a frown. Then he nodded.

"I want to hear it from you. I know they probably—" he cut himself off, pain evident in his face, "— I know it's been a long time, but I need to know for sure."

Bucky pulled his feet down and shifted to allow Steve to lean into him.

And so he began to tell Steve about what he had learned from the internet. Some of the Howling Commandos had children and grandchildren still living, and Bucky offered to see if he could find contact information for them. Steve nodded, and Bucky continued. He hesitated when he got to the end of the list, and Steve seemed to know who was next because he froze.

"Agent Carter — she stayed with the SSR, from what I could tell. A lot of her information is classified, so I don't know too much. From what I could find, she found someone — got married and had a family. Worked as long as she could."

"And now?" Steve asked, though a glance at his face told Bucky he wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer.

"She's in DC, best I can tell. She's alive, Steve. Just turned ninety." Silence fell between them, and Bucky tried to discern what Steve was feeling. His face was blank, and he held himself with the same stiffness he had in the beginning, before he began to feel at ease in Bucky's home.

Steve didn't say anything else that evening, and they fell asleep in tense silence. 

The following day, Bucky got home from work to find Steve in front of the laptop, tear tracks on his cheeks. He looked up when Bucky set his bag down.

"Sorry, I just…" he wiped at his face. "It's not that I didn't believe you, I just had to— had to see for myself." Bucky nodded and sat with him, letting Steve process. He ordered food for dinner and when it was dished out around them on the coffee table, Steve cleared his throat.

"I'd like to… I want to visit her. Is that possible?" Bucky smiled softly and nodded.

"Of course, Steve. I'm not sure what the rules are about it, security wise, and we might need to reach out to her family first, but we'll figure something out. Do you mind if I ask Sam? He was in the air force, and then he lived in DC for a while. He might have some connections who could help?" Steve nodded. 

"Sure. That sounds good. I just need to — need to talk to her, if I can. While I can." Bucky understood. Well, he wasn't sure if he could ever really _understand_ fully, but he knew Steve well enough to get it. He could tell this was something he needed, and Bucky would do whatever it took to get Steve what he needed. He called Sam later and filled him in on what he knew. Sam apparently knew someone from the VA center in DC who worked between a few care homes, and said he'd call them to see what they could figure out. He relayed this back to Steve, and then they waited.

It was close to a week by the time Sam got back to them, with the name of a care home and details of visitor times, as well as a card with a logo featuring a stylised eagle. It seemed pretty nondescript but Sam assured them should do the trick. It was a high security place, the kind of place politicians and high ranking officials went to spend their retirements once they could no longer live alone. 

They were unsure if they'd be allowed in, but Steve didn’t feel comfortable reaching out to her family just yet, and Bucky respected that. They’d go and see if they could get in themselves, and if there were any issues then they’d regroup and figure something else out later.

That weekend, Steve and Bucky got in Bucky's old beat up car early in the morning and drove down to DC. They arrived at the home about ten minutes before visiting hours and Steve sat in the passenger seat, staring at the front doors as though they were an enemy waiting to pounce. 

At exactly two p.m., Steve took a sharp breath and unbuckled his seat belt. He glanced over, and Bucky reached over to gently grip his hand before unbuckling himself and getting out of the car. They walked in the door, went through the basic security checks, and then asked the bored looking receptionist where they could find Peggy's room. 

There was a moment of uncertainty, but then Steve pulled out the card Sam provided and the receptionist’s tone changed. A nurse was called, and he led them down a series of labyrinthine corridors, coming to a stop outside a nondescript wooden door, with a simple number plate at eye level. Steve took a deep breath when the nurse knocked and walked into the room. Bucky met his eyes and smiled reassuringly just as the door opened again and the nurse ushered them in.

He left the three of them alone and went on with his rounds, and Bucky heard a sharp gasp.

"Steve?" Her voice was weak, but held traces of the strong woman who still lived behind the delicate skin and misty eyes. She reached out, and Steve stumbled forward.

"Hi, Peg." Steve's voice was choked, and he let out a sob when Peggy clutched at his hand, reaching up to stroke his cheek in disbelief.

"Is it really you?" She asked, and Bucky could hear a wobble in her voice too. Steve nodded, and gripped her hand back, pressing a kiss to her knuckles. 

Suddenly, it was all too much for Bucky. He backed out of the room and turned back down the corridors, finding his way outside and breathing in the fresh air, but it wasn't enough. The tightness gripped his chest and he ran to the car, opening the trunk and retrieving his sealskin before leaving the premises and heading towards the river. He found a quiet, secluded spot along the riverside and transformed, diving into the murky depths.

It wasn't the ocean, and nothing would ever compare to the salty depths he was familiar with, but he felt his chest loosen as he swam. He had felt out of place in that room, an unwelcome party to the tearful reunion. Steve would be fine without him until he returned. He just needed to swim for a while. To unwind.

Bucky pulled himself out of the water when he felt like his mind was finally steady enough to go back, and checked the time to see almost two hours had passed. He dressed and made his way back to where he had left Steve. He wasn’t at the car, or waiting by the door, so Bucky figured he was still inside with Peggy. He decided to wait outside, leaning against the car. 

It was another half hour before Steve emerged, eyes puffy and face red, but he was smiling. He was looking around in concern, but when he spotted Bucky he picked up his pace and suddenly Bucky was being wrapped in familiar strong arms.

Steve didn’t let go, and Bucky slowly hugged Steve back, letting the now familiar warmth seep into his bones.

“Thank you. You have no idea… Just, thank you.” Bucky tightened the hug and felt Steve relax for the first time since he had heard Peggy was alive. Finally, Steve pulled back, and looked at Bucky properly.

“You’re all damp,” he observed, intelligently, and reached up to push back the wet strands of hair hanging into Bucky’s eyes. Bucky hummed.

“Yeah, I just… I went for a swim.” Steve smiled and nodded. Something in his expression softened further, and Bucky had a feeling he understood. Or, at least, that he knew him well enough to get it.

“Let’s go home,” Steve announced, and Bucky agreed. They got in the car, and Bucky directed them back the way they had come. Bucky was burning with curiosity, but he didn’t want to pry into what had happened. They drove in silence until they were out of the city, and then Steve cleared his throat. 

“She’s lived a good life. I’m happy for her.” Bucky nodded, glancing over briefly.

“It would be okay if you weren’t,” he chanced, and Steve shrugged. 

“I know. Peggy and I— We never had our chance, really. It all happened so quickly, with the war and everything. From what she told me, Daniel’s a good man. I’m glad she found him.” Bucky took one hand off the wheel to squeeze Steve’s hand.

“Then I’m glad too. I’d like to meet her properly sometime, if you wanted to go back?” Bucky wasn’t sure about the truth of the sentence until he had said it, but from the way he saw Steve smile out of the corner of his eye, he was glad he had.

“Really? I’d love for you to meet her. I wasn’t sure, when you left, if you were interested...”

“I guess I just felt like I was intruding. I thought you’d want some time alone together.” Steve hummed.

“Thanks, Buck. It means a lot. Peggy was always— She was the one person who saw me for _me_ , before and after the serum. She helped convince Phillips I was the one who should be chosen. She encouraged me to go rogue, leave the USO. We were good friends, told each other everything. Even during the war, when we were separated on missions or whatever, we came back to each other. She’s the only one who ever…” Steve cleared his throat and fell silent. Bucky risked another glance over, and saw he was blushing.

“Steve?” He shook his head, turning to look out the window. Silence fell between them as they drove home. The sky turned dark, and they drove on in silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but Bucky could feel Steve next to him. There was something in the air, whatever Steve had been about to say hanging between them. They kept going, stopping briefly at a gas station to refuel both the car and themselves before carrying on.

They were more than halfway home when Steve spoke up at last.

“Peggy and I — I’m not going to say we loved each other. We never had enough time together for that, but we could have. And she _got it._ We both — There was one day, we were on base and a USO show came through. A lot like mine, actually, but they must’ve learned from the first time round, because it was just the girls this time. After one of the shows, I went backstage. I knew some of ‘em from my own tour and thought I’d catch up. Anyway, I went back, and there was Pegs, hair mussed and cheeks pink. She was with this gal called Rose, real nice girl. Pegs tried to explain it away but I knew — and she said I should tell you this, by the way—” Bucky tried to focus on his driving but he was distracted by Steve’s words.

“I knew she was like me, I mean. Rose ran off, and that’s when I told Peg about myself. How I used to walk into those bars some nights, when I felt lonely. Always had an easier time with guys than gals, somehow. She got a kick out of that. Said I could hardly have been worse with 'em, now could I?” Bucky pulled in so he could turn to Steve properly.

“Are you saying you’re… What are you saying?” Steve met his eyes.

“I’m bisexual. That’s the word I found on your computer, anyway. Back in the day I just said I was happy either way. Peg was too. We understood each other.” Bucky wasn’t sure what to say. He reached out a hand and Steve took it, squeezing softly.

“Thanks for telling me, Steve. That can’t have been easy.” Steve shrugged, and looked out the front window.

“I wanted you to know. You’re my best friend. I trust you.” Bucky felt a smile pull at his lips, and he opened his mouth to say something else, but Steve just sat back and gestured ahead.

“We should keep going, if we want to get any sleep tonight.” Bucky smiled, and took the comment for what it was; Steve had just had a pretty intense day, and he didn’t have the energy for any more serious conversations. Bucky started the car again and pulled back out into the street.

“Yeah you’re right. Let’s go home.”


	5. Chapter 5

Nothing much changed in the following weeks. Bucky met Peggy properly, though it was only a short visit because her nurse informed them she had had a bad morning and might not have the energy for much more. She did look frail, and Bucky struggled to connect the woman in front of him with the one from Steve's stories and the wartime photos.

"Is this your young man, Steve?" She asked, and Bucky laughed at the way he turned red and spluttered, trying not to feel his denial too acutely.

It may have been a short visit, but Bucky liked Peggy. He looked forward to hopefully getting to know her more, on better days.

Steve joined him on more and more grocery trips, even offered to run to the corner store on his own when they ran out of eggs one Saturday morning while making breakfast. Bucky's phone rang while Steve was out.

"Hi, mom. How are you?" He turned the hash brown he was making and leaned against the counter.

"Oh, I'm good. How are you?”

“I’m fine, ma. Just the usual, nothing exciting to report,” he laughed awkwardly.

“ Oh good! You know, I was just saying to Rebecca, we haven't seen you in months! We were thinking of coming up for a visit, maybe we can all go for a swim together?" Bucky hummed, mentally trying to figure out a timeline to invite them over. Maybe Steve could stay with Sam for their visit, but he didn't want Steve to think he was being kicked out.

"James?"

"Oh! Right, yeah! That sounds good. When..?"

"Becca actually has time off her job right now, so we’ll drive up tonight, since you don’t have anything going on! Don't worry about food, it's my treat." She hung up, leaving Bucky staring at his phone in surprise and confusion, which is exactly how Steve found him.

"You know, you're supposed to unlock the screen and type in what you want to look at, right?" he quipped, depositing the eggs on the table and wrapping his arms around Bucky for comfort. He was wearing a very large, very soft sweatshirt and Bucky couldn’t help but snuggle in.

"My ma called. Her and Becca are coming by."

"Oh, that'll be nice. Right?" Bucky shrugged.

"Yeah, it will. Except for the fact that they're coming tonight." Steve backed away and his eyes bugged.

"You mean tonight, as in less than twelve hours from now?" Bucky nodded. "Well, fuck. What are we gonna tell them?"

"Friend from college? Old roommate maybe? Except they met all of my roommates."

"Boyfriend?" Steve asked, cheeks slightly pink, and Bucky almost choked on air.

"Only if you _really_ want to be interrogated." Steve winced. Bucky tried not to feel disappointed that the suggestion was purely for cover. It would have been nice, but he had seen too many rom-coms to pretend that wasn’t a terrible idea.

"Alright, then,” Steve agreed. “I’ll be a friend from college, non-roommate edition."

"Yeah, I guess that makes the most sense,” Bucky thought about it. “How about we took a history class together? World war two?" Steve laughed, and the sight made Bucky melt, just as it always did.

“I mean, we _could_ tell them the truth?” Steve suggested, and Bucky took a moment to ponder the suggestion. Every time he imagined the conversation, however, his mind was pulled back to that first day he had found the Valkyrie.

“They’d never believe it, Steve. I told my mom, first day I found you. She just laughed it off and complimented my overactive imagination.” Steve didn’t seem convinced, but agreed to go along with Bucky’s plan.

“Well, you know them better than I do, I guess. I’ll follow your lead.”

“Thanks, Steve. I appreciate it.”

They spent the afternoon attempting to get the house into a fit shape for guests, and before they knew it there was a knock on the door and Bucky was letting in his mom and little sister, being enveloped in hugs and suffering through their fussing over him.

Winnie finally let go of him long enough to say she was going to go get her bags from the car, and that’s when Steve made himself known.

“Please, allow me. Where are they?” Winnie looked up in surprise, and Becca looked between Bucky and Steve in gleeful surprise.

“Who is this, James?” Winnie asked, and Bucky introduced them.

“Ma, this is Steve, he’s… An old friend. We met in college. Steve, this is my mom, Winnie, and my little sister, Becca.”

“Bucky, I’m twenty three years old, I’m not—”

“It’s lovely to meet you, Steve! If I’d known Bucky had a friend over, I’d have never invited myself over so last minute.” Bucky raised an eyebrow at her, and she rolled her eyes, making Steve snort.

“Well, I’d have made sure to check and make sure you didn’t have any food allergies, at least.” Steve laughed at that.

“Nothing of the sort. It’s lovely to meet you. Will I get your bags for you?” Winnie beamed and directed him to the back seat of the car. Steve walked out and Bucky immediately felt two pairs of eyes zero in on him.

“ _An old friend_ , is it?” Becca asked with a teasing lilt, while Winnie just looked thoughtful. Bucky cringed internally, but didn’t fuel the fire, instead leading them into the living room while Steve carried in both of their overnight bags as well as a large bag of groceries with little effort. Bucky sighed, and of course Winnie turned around just in time to see him put them down.

“You didn’t carry all of that at once, did you?” Steve looked as though he had been caught out, so Bucky tried to divert the attention back to himself.

“Mom, what’s all this, anyway? I have food here, you didn’t need to bring groceries with you!”

“It’s for dinner, I’m making my seafood pie and I just brought the ingredients I need, so you can stop arguing with me, young man.” Steve snorted, and Bucky glared at him, which seemed to just make him crack up further.

“Now, you can make yourself scarce for an hour while I get this ready for the oven, and then we’ll have a _proper_ catch up, alright?” Bucky obliged, pulling Steve after him, with Becca following.

“So, Steve, where are you from?” Becca asked, as soon as they were seated in the living room.

“Um, Brooklyn, originally. I haven’t been back there in a while, though.” She hummed and sat back, looking pointedly at where Bucky had instinctively sat so close to Steve that their legs were flush together. Bucky turned pink, but didn’t pull away, knowing that Steve needed it.

He turned on the TV in an effort to avoid any more questions, knowing that as soon as his mother was finished in the kitchen she would demand to know everything he had done since the last time they saw each other, even though they did speak on the phone regularly.

Though, granted, he had managed to avoid mentioning Steve over the past several months, so perhaps the questioning was justified.

Soon enough, Winnie emerged, wiping her hands on a tea towel, and she smiled when she saw Bucky with Steve on the couch, which was possibly worse than Becca’s smirk.

“That’ll be about forty minutes in the oven now. So you met in college, did you?” She didn’t beat around the bush, diving right in, and Bucky launched into the story they had concocted.

Winnie looked unimpressed with the solution.

“I didn’t know you had done a World War II course, Bucky. Didn’t you take European history?”

“It was, uhh, focused on the European front of the war, actually.”

“... Right.”

Bucky could tell his mother wasn’t buying a single word of his hastily concocted cover story, and decided to just cut the conversation off, bringing up their plans for the trip.

“So how long are you guys planning to stay?”

“Oh, we thought we’d hang around for the weekend, if you have the space for us?” Becca’s eyes darted to Steve and back to Bucky as she asked. Usually when they came over, they’d share the sofa bed. Of course, the sofa bed _was_ free for them, but that would require explaining why Steve was sleeping in his bed.

“That’s fine, I can stay in Sam’s for a couple of nights,” Steve replied, and while part of Bucky was relieved that Steve seemed to know exactly what he was thinking, a bigger part of him felt deeply uneasy at the idea of falling asleep without Steve there.

“Sounds good, I’ll text him and make sure he’s cool with that. You wanted to go swimming later?” Becca nodded and practically shouted her enthusiasm.

“Yes! _God_ I can’t wait! I’ve gone swimming in other places but the beaches near me are so _crowded._ I can’t wait to be able to swim freely without—” She cut herself off, seemingly just remembering there was someone outside of the family present “I mean…”

“It’s fine,” Bucky assured her, “Steve knows.”

“He knows…?” Becca seemed reluctant to say it, and Bucky understood. It wasn’t exactly something that you just out and told people, after all.

“He knows we’re selkies. We actually met while I was swimming.”

“While you were swimming, during your history class?” Becca raised an eyebrow, then laughed at Bucky’s stammered response. She actually let him off the hook for once, seemingly too excited to bother annoying him just yet, but he had no doubts that she’d bring it back up at some point later. She started talking about how much she missed the quiet bay, but Bucky was preoccupied by the sudden change in his mother’s expression.

She stood up suddenly, and gestured to Bucky.

“Bucky, could you come out and help me?” Bucky stood and followed his mother into the kitchen. She checked on the pie, adjusted the oven temperature, then gave him a serious look.

Bucky opened his mouth, trying to cut her off at the pass and explain himself somehow, but she didn’t start to lecture him or ask him what was going on. Instead, she pulled him into a tight hug, and apologised, leaving Bucky standing frozen in shock.

“What are you apologizing for? What happened?”

“I’m sorry I didn’t believe you. In my defense, you _did_ have an active imagination as a child, but I should have realised when you kept going out to the same spot. I thought it was just a game, or you were trying to get away from Becca. But he was really there, wasn’t he?” Bucky gaped at her.

“I— He— You know?” She tutted at his disjointed stammering.

“Bucky, honestly. Unlike you, I actually passed a history course in college. I knew he looked familiar, but I couldn’t place him at first. Then there was the way he carried all of the bags in without breaking a sweat, but it was you mentioning you met him while swimming that really made it click. You really did find him all those years ago, didn’t you?” Bucky sighed and nodded. Of course she figured it out.

“I did.”

“But how…? No, never mind. That isn’t my business. You just set the table, okay? I’ll call in the others.”

“Wait, mom! Do you think Becca…?” Winnie shrugged and tutted.

“I doubt she’s figured it out yet, but you are a truly _terrible_ liar. I’m sure she just thinks he’s your boyfriend or something along those lines. You do appear to be very close. I have no doubt she’ll figure out the truth sooner or later, though, so I do think you should tell her.” Bucky turned red as she spoke.

“ _Jesus,_ mom, let me process one thing at a time, okay?” She laughed and messed up his hair.

“Table. Now.” Bucky saluted jokingly and set to work, grateful for something to put his mind to.

Steve and Becca wandered back in, talking amiably about some movie which Bucky vaguely remembered Steve watching a couple of weeks back. He was glad to see them getting along, and even more glad that Becca wasn’t prying him with overly familiar questions.

Dinner was actually a surprisingly comfortable affair, conversation flowing easily, and food which instantly transported Bucky back to his childhood. He found himself occasionally darting glances over at Steve to check he was doing alright, and was relieved to see him enjoying the food, and accepting the second and even third helpings Winnie not-so-subtly kept adding to his plate.

Becca finished eating and stood up decisively.

“Right, I can’t wait any longer. I’m going out to swim. Steve, was my coat…?” Steve fumbled his fork.

“I left them in the car, I didn’t want to, uhh…” Bucky saw the pink tinge rising on Steve’s face and a surge of fondness rose up in him.

Becca snorted.

“Such a gentleman. Mom, want me to grab yours, too?” Winnie nodded her thanks and started gathering up the dishes, but Bucky took them from her and glared until she desisted and let him tidy up.

“You head out with Becs, Steve and I have got this. I’ll follow you out.” She looked between them and smiled knowingly before leaving them to it. Bucky ran the tap and started washing the dishes, and Steve fell into place with a dish towel next to him.

“Mom knows who you are. That’s what she was talking to me about, earlier.”

“I know. I could hear you,” Steve admitted. “I’m glad. I’m not great at lying, honestly. We should tell Becca, too.” Bucky checked his face for hesitation or reluctance, but found nothing other than the usual calm determination.

“Okay. I’ll fill her in after we swim, she never listens when she’s transformed.” They finished washing in silence.

When it was all done, Bucky turned to Steve again, and saw a hint of anxiety in his face.

“You can hang out here, or go over to Sam’s while we swim. You don’t have to—”

“Actually, I was wondering if I could come watch?” Bucky was surprised by Steve’s request, but a smile broke out across his face.

“Of course! There’s a nice rock pile up the beach where you can see the whole bay, but it’s pretty far from the water.” Steve looked relieved, and went to get a jacket. Bucky followed him to the bedroom, where Steve stood holding a coat.

Bucky’s coat.

“I— My jacket was under it. Sorry.” Steve placed it gently on the bed in front of Bucky and got his own jacket from the hook on the door. Bucky looked between Steve’s hands and his coat, then ran his hand over the soft folds before picking it up.

There was a lump in his throat he couldn’t identify, but it wasn’t unpleasant. They walked to the beach, and Steve went to sit on the rocks while Bucky changed and dove into the cold waves.

Winnie was in the shallows, looking content in the gentle waters while Becca was diving and splashing in the exact same way she had as a child. Bucky did his usual dive before surfacing. Winnie swam in to meet him and Becca and they swam together for a short while before separating briefly and coming back together.

Bucky loved swimming on his own, exploring and following every whim to go where he pleased, but this was something else entirely. Seals were social creatures who thrived in groups together, and selkies were no different. They surfaced after a while and Bucky looked to shore, where Steve was sitting, looking back.

Bucky rolled over and waved a flipper in the air. Though he was too far out to hear much, he saw Steve’s head fall back in laughter and felt a wave of affection surge through him. Becca gave him a look which he chose not to interpret, but he knew he was basically broadcasting his feelings for Steve to his family.

The truth was, when he had walked in on Steve touching his coat, he should have been outraged. No Selkie would be comfortable with someone who wasn’t family holding their skin, but Steve was different.

Bucky had already given Steve his coat once, after all. He had seen Steve holding his coat earlier, and a part of him had wanted to reach out and take it from his hand, accepting it along with everything that came with the gesture. He’d have taken it in a heartbeat had Steve offered.

Winnie returned to the shallows and Bucky dove back down after Becca, unsure how to process this new revelation.

In the distance, unnoticed by any of them, a pair of headlights wound their way along the quiet lane towards Bucky’s cottage.


	6. Chapter 6

Bucky didn’t stay in the water as long as he usually did. While Becca swam freely and Winnie relaxed next to a rock pool, he slipped out of the water and pulled on his sweatpants, keeping his coat pulled tight around him to prevent a chill. He made his way up the shore to Steve and sat next to him.

“Hey,” he said, and Steve smiled at him.

“You didn’t need to get out of the water for me. I’m okay.”

“I know, punk. I’m good, though.”

“Good. You looked like you were having fun out there.”

Bucky nodded and looked out at the water.

“I was. But I felt like coming to sit with you for a while.” His sentence was punctuated with a shiver. It really was growing colder. Steve wrapped an arm around him, pulling him in close and Bucky could feel his warmth through the sealskin.

“Fuck, you’re frozen! Do you wanna go back up to the house?” Steve sounded genuinely concerned, and Bucky shrugged.

“I dunno. I feel bad leaving them after they travelled to see me, you know?”

“They seem to be happy enough on their own, don’t you think?” Bucky looked out. Becca was nowhere to be seen, deep underwater, and Winnie seemed to be happy enough as she was. He nodded.

“Sure. We can have tea or something ready for them when they get in, I guess.”

Steve stood and Bucky mourned the loss of his warmth until Steve reached out a hand to help him up. They walked back side by side in silence.

They weren’t even halfway back when Bucky began to feel something was wrong. He shivered again, but it wasn’t from the cold this time.

When his front door came into view, he froze. There was a car outside his house, one he didn’t recognise.

“Steve?”

“I see it. Anyone you know?”

“Nope.” He looked over at Steve. Gone was the easy, relaxed posture and the loose grin. Steve stood to attention, face set.

“Maybe someone’s lost and wants directions. Let’s go see,” Bucky said, trying to sound confident.

He resumed walking, and Steve all but marched alongside him. Sometimes Bucky forgot Steve was a soldier, a Captain. But not now. This Steve was all military precision and determination as he approached the car and the man they could now make out standing next to the driver’s seat.

“Captain Rogers. I see my intel was accurate.”

Bucky felt a trickle of unease run down his spine and he drew closer to Steve.

“Who are you?” Steve demanded, and the man stepped forward, taking them in with the eye which wasn’t covered by a patch.

“Nicholas J. Fury. I think we need to talk.”

“That doesn’t tell me who you are. How did you find me?”

“I work for a group called SHIELD,” he began, and although the name was familiar to Bucky, he couldn’t pinpoint why. It seemed Steve understood, though, because his shoulders dropped as Fury continued. “Did you really think you could visit a high ranking former agent and not have a background check run on you?”

And then Bucky realised.

Peggy.

_Of course_ they’d check who was visiting her. And SHIELD must be the agency she had helped to found.

“You should come inside. It’s cold.” Bucky broke the tense silence and pushed forward to open the front door. It didn’t escape his notice how Steve carefully positioned himself in between Fury and Bucky, protectiveness radiating from every inch of his posture. Bucky led them into the living room, and stared blankly until they both sat down.

“Right then. Now that we’re being civilised, why are you here?” Bucky spoke up again, as the other two were engaged in some sort of stand-off.

“It’s simple, really,” Fury responded at length. “My organisation is the successor to the SSR, which Captain America—” he nodded to Steve, who tightened his jaw further, “—worked under during the war. Given that he is _not,_ in fact, dead that means that his service’s termination is not, in fact, official.”

“So what, you want to call him up for duty again?” Bucky asked incredulously, while Steve looked on stone faced. Before Fury could answer, the door opened and Becca and Winnie came in the door, chattering. They froze when they saw the scene before them.

“Uhh, hi,” Becca said blankly, looking between them.

“This is my sister, Rebecca, and my mom, Winnie. Guys, this is, uhh, Director Fury _?”_ Bucky explained, though his tone was more of a question. Becca snorted.

“Nice to meet you, Director. I didn’t realise there would be guests, or we’d have come in sooner.” Winnie’s voice was hard in the way Bucky had only heard when she had been talking to the parents of kids that had bullied him or Becca, and it warmed him to recognise she already felt protective of Steve.

“That’s perfectly alright, Ms. Barnes,” Fury responded, seemingly unperturbed by the tone or the intrusion. “May I continue?” he turned to Steve, gesturing outside.

“Go ahead. Anything you have to say to me you can say to them, too.” Bucky’s heart swelled further at Steve’s stern defence of his family, in spite of the grim atmosphere.

“All right, then. Yes. I would like for you to return to service. I’m putting together a team of exceptional heroes, with the aim of protecting the earth from outside threats. I believe you would be an excellent fit for the team, Captain.”

“What do you mean by _outside threats?_ Aliens?” Fury shrugged.

“We have reason to believe so. Naturally, you would be fully briefed on this should you accept, and the team is currently in the early stages of formation so it is unlikely there would be active missions for at least the first few months. Barring an emergency situation, of course. Your re-emergence has, if I’m being honest, given a lot of people at SHIELD new hope that these potential threats can be faced.”

“And what if he doesn’t want to?”

Bucky looked up at his mother in surprise at her outburst, along with everyone else in the room.

“ _Mr_. Fury, I’m sure you mean well, but Steven has more than done enough to qualify for retirement. He is a World War Two veteran who gave his life for his country, and—”

“Well, technically I didn’t—” Steve attempted to interject, but Winnie stopped him with a look.

“— He _sacrificed_ his life as he knew it for his country. Now he has a chance at a peaceful retirement, why should he have to give that up? You have other members on this team, I’m sure?” She asked pointedly, and Fury nodded somewhat reluctantly.

“Yes, there are of course other members we are reaching out to, but—”

“Then what has Steven got that these others haven’t?”

“A legacy.” All heads turned to Steve as he spoke up, standing and going to rest a hand on Winnie’s shoulder with a grateful smile. “If I’m understanding correctly, it’s my title, the legacy of _Captain America,_ rather than my abilities which you’re hoping to use to inspire the team, isn’t it?”

Fury nodded, and Steve took a deep breath.

“Would you mind giving me time to think about it? This is a lot to process.”

“Of course. Here’s my card, give me a call. Or ask your buddy Sam to reach out to his _contact_.”

Fury didn’t give anyone a chance to respond, just stood and walked out the door. He saluted Steve and nodded to Winnie on his way out. As soon as the door closed behind him, Steve slumped into a chair.

“So… Steve really _is_ Captain America, and not just a lookalike?” Becca broke the silence after a short pause, and Steve snorted.

“Yep. The one and only,” he confirmed with a hint of bitterness in his voice.

Becca opened her mouth to say something, but Bucky silenced her with a look, and she went to get showered and changed instead.

“I’ll make some tea and then do the same,” Winnie said and then went into the kitchen, leaving Steve and Bucky on their own.

Bucky walked over to sit on the arm of the chair Steve had slumped into, and reached out a tentative arm to rest on his shoulder. Steve let out a weary sigh, leaning into the touch, so Bucky slid it around him to pull him close and let Steve nestle into his side.

“That was a lot, huh?” It was all Bucky could think of to say, but Steve seemed to understand, nodding into his side.

“I really don’t know what to do, Buck.”

“That’s okay. We’ll figure it out together, alright?”

Steve nodded, then swallowed thickly and they once again drifted into silence until Winnie returned with a pot of tea.

“We’ll leave you two boys to it. I think you should stay in with Bucky tonight, or Becca and I will go find a room in town. It’s been a bit of an overwhelming evening, after all.”

“He can stay with me. Don’t worry about it, ma.” Bucky spoke through a blush, and Winnie offered him a smile over Steve’s head which implied she knew more about Bucky’s feelings than she was really saying.

Bucky poured two cups of the tea, and adjusted his position so he was more comfortable without removing his arm from around Steve.

When Winnie left, Steve pulled out Fury’s card. It looked just like the one they had gotten from Sam’s contact, and Bucky felt himself wondering once again who it could be. He trusted Sam with his life, so Fury’s barb hadn’t stung him, but he wondered if Steve felt the same.

“What do you think he meant, about Sam?” Bucky asked.

“I don’t know. I always felt there was something more to his time in the Air Force than he implied when we talked. I figured he was just on some classified missions he couldn’t mention, but maybe he worked with some SHIELD teams? I don’t think he’d hide anything he didn’t have to, though. I trust him.”

Bucky felt relieved — he knew Steve had become friends with Sam, but there was always a chance that Steve would be suspicious of the coincidence. He was glad they were close enough that he was immediately sure of his trustworthiness.

“I do want to talk to him though. I know what the SSR was, back in the day, and I know Peggy, but I just…”

“You want to know what the offer really is?” Bucky prompted, after Steve trailed off. He nodded. “You don’t need to decide right away. Why don’t you get some rest and we can figure it out then? I’m sure Fury will wait for you to be sure.”

Steve nodded and stood up, leaving Bucky’s arm to drop down and hover over his waist before he pulled away.

Bucky crossed to his room and knocked on the door, at which Becca and Winnie came out, doing their best not to appear as though they had been sitting in there listening to every word. Bucky fought a smile as they started getting the sofa bed ready.

“Honestly, I wish you had kicked us out. This thing is uncomfortable as shit,” Becca commented, and Bucky threw a pillow at her. Steve laughed, and Bucky felt a tension release he hadn’t realised he’d been holding at the sound.

They’d be okay. This was just another thing for them to figure out, but they would figure it out.

They curled up in bed together, Bucky’s head on Steve’s chest, and Bucky could tell he was lying awake.

“Ask me a question,” he prompted, and Steve jolted in surprise.

“What?”

“I know you’re thinking too hard to sleep, so ask me a question. About me, my family, the modern world. Anything except SHIELD.”

Steve hummed, and Bucky could feel the vibration under his cheek.

“Okay… Feel free not to answer, though.” Bucky nodded. “Just, with your mom and Becca here, I was wondering. What about your dad?”

Bucky was surprised — not by the question itself, more the fact that it hadn’t already come up.

“Not much to tell, really. He was human, like you,” Bucky punctuated this with a pinch to Steve’s rib cage, causing him to snort and squirm.

“Excuse you, I’m _super_ human,” Steve responded, just to be a shit.

“Oh, I apologise, of course,” Bucky snorted. “Dad was just a regular old human, though. A good guy, from what I remember. He worked as a fisherman, but one day his boat got caught in a storm and he didn’t make it. I was four, Becca was just a baby.” Steve’s arms pulled tight around Bucky and held him close.

“I’m so sorry, Buck.” Bucky shrugged.

“It’s fine. I don’t really remember him well enough to miss him, you know?”

“Yeah... I get that. It was the same for me, really. I never met my dad. I’m glad you had your mom, she’s great.”

“She is. She had it rough for a while, but she’s always been there. I think she’s all but adopted you too, by the way,” Bucky pointed out and felt Steve laugh under him. “There’s no getting rid of me now.”

“Good,” was the only answer Steve gave, along with an almost imperceptible tightening of his arms around Bucky. They lay in silence, wrapped tight around each other until Bucky felt Steve’s breaths even out and he followed him into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note the updated chapter count! I'm writing chapter 8 at the moment, and 9 will most likely be an epilogue.


	7. Chapter 7

The morning after Fury’s visit was tense and awkward. Steve was on edge, and Bucky was doing his best to give Steve space to make his decision, while also offering comfort. 

“I think we’re going to head home, boys,” Winnie said after breakfast. “It’s been lovely meeting you, Steve. I do hope you’ll keep in touch, no matter what you decide. You’re part of the family, whether you like it or not.” She pulled Steve into a tight hug, and Bucky could see the pink of Steve’s ears from behind as he hugged her back.

Becca winked at Bucky and waggled her eyebrows behind their backs, making his own face turn red as he held up a middle finger to her. She snorted and grinned smugly as Winnie broke away from Steve, pulling him down to kiss his cheek before moving on to Bucky. 

By the time the two of them had left, Steve’s face was almost back to his usual tone, and Bucky smiled at him fondly. No sooner did they hear the car pulling away outside, however, but Steve’s face fell. He sat down heavily on the armchair, head dropping into his hands.

He didn’t say anything, and Bucky wasn’t sure what he could say that would be helpful. The silence stretched on until Bucky couldn’t take it anymore. He opened his mouth to suggest they do something — watch a movie, play a game, anything to get Steve out of his head.

“I’m gonna go take a walk, okay? I need to be alone for a while, I think,” Steve announced suddenly, standing up all at once. Bucky nodded and held out a hand to squeeze Steve’s arm. Steve’s eyes closed briefly at the contact, and he inhaled deeply before smiling over at Bucky.

“I’ll make some lunch or something for when you get back. Take all the time you need, okay?” Bucky forced the words out, and Steve nodded once before heading out the front door.

And then he was on his own in the house. He busied himself with straightening the place up after his family’s visit, but the fleeting nature of the visit meant there wasn’t really much to do. He sat down on the sofa and let his head fall back.

He should’ve known that it couldn’t last. Steve was far too noble to reject the summons, especially if he felt he was needed. Like he had said last night, there was only one Captain America. 

Bucky took out his phone and stared at the screen. He navigated to Sam’s contact, starting to type and erasing message after message before tossing the device aside altogether.

Fuck.

He laughed silently to himself. He remembered being a kid, perching himself in his little nook and chittering away to Steve, still frozen but listening to him nonetheless. Back then, Bucky had lamented the fact that he had this secret part of himself he couldn’t share with the world, that his love life would forever be overshadowed by his need to hide his sealskin — hide part of his identity — until he trusted the other person absolutely. He had been scared that what he was would prevent him from finding someone he trusted enough, who trusted him in return, who he could willingly give his coat to.

He had thought _he_ would be the complicated part of any potential relationship. 

He hadn’t banked on Steve. Hadn’t bet on giving his coat away immediately and having Steve know him inside and out right from the first moment. He hadn’t banked on finding someone who was exactly what he had dreamed of and then having them pulled away from him by some higher duty.

Fuck.

He stood up and made his way to the kitchen. He couldn’t stay in his head like this. He shouldn’t be thinking like this, it wasn’t Steve’s fault that Bucky had fallen in love with him. 

He took out some ingredients at random and started prepping them. It was still way too early to have lunch — they were less than an hour after breakfast — but he needed to occupy himself. He didn’t have any recipe in mind, just set to work chopping, peeling and combining until he had something that could go in the slow cooker for the couple of hours before they wanted to eat it. 

He took a deep breath and started wondering what else he could do before Steve got back when there was a knock on the door. He opened it to find Sam, looking dishevelled, and with an anxious look in his eye.

“I’ve just heard what happened. I gotta explain,” he panted. Bucky stood aside to let him in. 

“Want some tea?” he offered, and Sam nodded absently, looking around the room. “He’s gone for a walk. Wanted to be alone.” 

Sam nodded, and followed Bucky into the kitchen as he started making tea for them both.

“I’ll explain, I’d just rather not have to repeat myself. Is he…?”

“He’s coming back. He’ll be okay. It’s just... It’s a lot, you know?” Bucky tried to reassure Sam, but he knew he wasn’t convincing either of them. He took a moment and tried again when the tea was made, putting the mugs down between them at the kitchen table. “I want you to know, whatever the deal with your contact is, I know you had your reasons for not saying before. I trust you. You’re my best friend.” 

Sam smiled softly and took a drink, nodding.

“Thanks, man. That means a lot, you know?” They sat quietly for a moment.

“For what it’s worth, Steve trusts you too. He wants to know the truth, sure, but he does trust you.” Sam nodded again. There wasn’t really anything more to be said before—

There was a rattle at the door and the telltale sound of Steve’s large form coming in. 

“In here!” Bucky called, and Sam turned grimly as Steve followed the sound of Bucky’s voice. He stilled in the doorway, eyes landing on Sam.

“I came to explain,” Sam preempted as Steve opened his mouth. He closed it again and nodded, coming in to sit next to them while Bucky made more tea.

“Well?” Bucky bit back a smile at Steve’s grumpy tone. It’d be cute if there wasn't an obvious tremor of hurt behind it.

“Okay,” Sam began, and Bucky sat back down. “You’ve probably guessed that my tours weren’t exactly typical of the air force.” 

Steve nodded with a dry smile, and Bucky just shrugged. He hadn’t, actually. Sam talked about his time overseas, sure, but Bucky didn’t really know what qualified as _typical_ for that kind of thing.

“Well, it’s pretty fucking classified, but you guys have a right to know.” He took a folder out from his jacket and put it on the table. Steve opened it, and Bucky looked over to see the files. So yeah, even he could tell this wasn’t typical.

“Fucking shit, You had _wings?_ What the fuck, dude?” Sam and Steve both laughed at his outburst, though Steve looked like he shared some of his sentiments. 

“So you weren’t a pilot, then?” Steve asked flatly. Sam shrugged, a half smile playing across his face. Bucky could see the pride in his expression, even if he was trying to appear contrite and apologetic.

“Not quite, no.”

“And where does your _contact_ come into this?” Steve pried.

“Right, well, we ran a lot of pretty sensitive missions, sometimes came up against forces that weren’t exactly what you might call _normal._ Sometimes they were the same forces organisations like SHIELD took an interest in. There was one agent I worked with a couple of times. I’ll call her Black Widow.”

Sam paused to take a sip of his tea, and Bucky glanced over at Steve. Steve raised a brow, and Bucky knew he wasn’t the only one who had noticed the half smile on Sam’s face when he mentioned the agent. He filed that question away for later as Sam continued talking.

“She was a great agent, and we became friends after a while. After I got out, she tracked me down in DC and we stayed in touch. She’s the one I reached out to when you wanted to visit Agent Carter. She sent me down the card that got you in. I should’ve known they’d run extra checks, she assumed I’d know and warn you. So I’m sorry about that.” Sam sat back when he finished speaking, and Steve nodded, seemingly processing the information.

“And you trust her? This _Black Widow?_ ” Steve asked at length, and Sam didn’t hesitate before nodding.

“Absolutely. She’s saved my ass more than I can count, and I’ve pulled her out of some sticky situations too. I trust her.” 

“Is she involved in this super team Fury wants me for?” 

“I don’t know, really. My bet would be yes, but I’m not exactly cleared to know the details of that kind of stuff.” 

“That’s fine. Thanks. She just sounds like someone I wouldn’t mind fighting alongside.” There was a smile in Steve’s voice, and Bucky felt a complex wave of emotions pass over him. 

He was glad Steve was sounding more like himself — happy and relaxed, not the stern captain he had been since Fury’s visit. His shoulders were relaxed, and he was smiling again. But he was also talking about fighting, and fighting meant leaving. 

Bucky sipped at his lukewarm tea and stood to go check on lunch while Sam and Steve continued talking.

“For what it’s worth, I think you could do some good out there, but you’ve earned your rest,” Sam was saying.

“Yeah. It’s hard to say no, though. How do you handle it?” Steve asked, and Sam clicked his teeth.

“I like my life. Do I miss flying missions? Sure. Sometimes look at the people who are still fighting and wonder what it’d be like to get back out there. I had to get out, at the time. After Rley, I needed some peace, but it maybe wouldn’t be the worst thing to put the suit back on, for a good enough cause.” Sam’s voice was thoughtful but honest, and Bucky raised his brows in surprise. Sam had never mentioned that to him before. 

“Hmm,” Steve responded, “I get that.” 

There was another beat of silence before Sam spoke up again.

“I think I should head out. I’ll check in with N— Black Widow to see if she wants to talk to you. She’d probably be able to give you any more information on the offer, help you decide.”

“Thanks, Sam. You’re a good friend.” Bucky turned back just in time to see Sam and Steve stand at the same time and hug tightly. 

“Whatever you say, man. Whatever you decide to do, I’m here for you, alright? We’ll still be your friends if you go, but we’ll miss the hell out of you all the same.” 

Bucky heard Steve huff a laugh and mumble something under his breath before clapping Sam on the back and letting him go. Bucky waved goodbye, and Sam gave him a reassuring smile before leaving.

Steve turned to Bucky, expression uncertain, and ground his jaw tight. Bucky crossed over immediately to put a hand on his shoulder, lending comfort. Steve let out a breath.

“Is my shield still down there?” he asked suddenly, and Bucky almost jumped.

“Your shield? You mean you’re…?” Bucky could hardly get the question out, but Steve just shrugged.

“I don’t know. I just think I’d feel better if it was here.” Bucky grit his teeth but nodded.

“I’ll look for it, if you’d like.” he managed to say, finally.

Steve nodded back into the living room and they went out to sit in their usual position — practically in each other’s laps, arms entwined. This time Steve had his head on Bucky’s shoulder, though it was usually the other way around.

After a few moments, Steve spoke.

“I haven’t asked what you think yet.”

“I know,” Bucky responded. “Do you want me to be honest?” 

Steve nodded against his shoulder, and Bucky bit his lip. He pulled away slightly, turning so he could look at Steve properly as he braced himself. 

“I think it’s very noble of you to consider this. I know you think you’d be frustrated sitting here while other people fight the battles for you, and I respect that. But I’m also selfish, Steve.” He stopped speaking abruptly, and Steve frowned.

“What do you—”

“You already died in one fucking war, now you have a second chance and you want to go back?” Bucky snapped. He’d come close to making it about himself, and it shouldn’t be. He shouldn’t be the reason for Steve’s decision, but the more he thought about the choice, the position they had put Steve in, the angrier he felt. If Steve wasn’t going to kick up a fuss, Bucky would do it on his behalf.

“Isn’t it my duty to fight if I can?”

“Duty, my ass! You just want to sacrifice yourself for another fucking bullshit cause! You owe them _nothing_ , Steve. It’s not your responsibility to fight every battle there is,” he felt himself grow heated, and Steve’s face hardened momentarily before turning sad. He sat up, moving away from Bucky a little.

“That’s not fair, Buck, and you know it. I just want to do what’s right.” Steve’s voice cracked at the end, and Bucky felt the anger ebb out of his body at the sight.

“I know, Steve. Fuck, I didn’t mean— You’re too fucking good for your own good, you know that right?” Bucky swallowed back tears as Steve smiled at him.

“Sometimes I do wish I could be selfish, though. Did—” he paused, shook his head, started over. “Buck, when you said you were selfish, what did you mean?”

“It doesn’t matter, Steve. Not right now.” He reached out to rest a hand on Steve’s arm, unable to help himself. Steve’s eyes fluttered closed and then he blinked them open to fix Bucky with a determined expression.

“It does matter, Buck. I want to know if you want to tell me. What makes you think you’re selfish? Because that’s not what I think of you. I see the man who gave me his sealskin, despite all it entails, because I _looked cold_. That’s not selfish.” 

Bucky swallowed. Nodded. Blinked back tears. There was no going back.

“I am selfish, though. I am, this time. Because I just wantyou to stay here. With me. I can’t lose you, Steve. I—” He couldn’t finish the sentence, not with the expression on Steve’s face, open and devastating. A hand reached up to caress his cheek, and Bucky leaned into it, eyes closed, with tears falling feely now that he’d finally told the truth about what he thought of Fury’s offer. Finally allowed himself to really feel what it would be for Steve to leave.

“Buck,” Steve said, and his voice was thick with emotion. “Bucky, please look at me.” Bucky sniffed and opened his eyes again. Steve was looking at him still, and he noticed that he wasn’t the only one with tears in his eyes. Steve’s tongue darted out to his lower lip, and Bucky found himself following the movement. Steve swallowed. 

Bucky suddenly became aware of just how little space there was between them, since Steve had relaxed into him again. All he’d have to do is lean in a couple of inches to meet Steve halfway. His breath caught in his chest.

“I wanna be selfish too, Bucky.” Steve’s voice was barely above a whisper, one hand holding Bucky’s face tenderly, the other on his leg, eyes boring directly into Bucky’s.

“Then do it,” Bucky answered, reaching out to clutch at Steve’s arms. Steve took a breath, as though preparing himself, and then he did just what Bucky had been imagining, and leaned forward to bring their mouths together. Bucky gasped at the contact, wrapping his arms around Steve properly and kissing him back. Steve’s hand moved from his face to his hair, tangling with the strands as he held Bucky close. 

He was strong, and safe, and perfect, and Bucky wanted nothing more than to be held in those arms for the rest of his life. They broke apart, breathing heavily, faces millimeters apart.

“I know it’s a lot, but Steve, I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you,” Bucky gasped, and was rewarded with Steve pulling him even closer, bracing himself with a knee on the couch cushion and leaning down to kiss him again.

“God, Buck, I love you too. I love you so fucking much.”

“But the other day, you denied—”

“Only because you’re the one who said telling them we were dating would lead to _too many questions._ ” Steve interrupted him, and Bucky groaned, dropping his head to Steve’s shoulder.

“I’m an idiot.”

“Yeah, but you’re a cute idiot,” Steve retorted, startling a laugh out of Bucky, which was followed by a hiccup from his earlier crying. Steve gently coaxed his head back up, wiped his face and pressed a kiss to each of his cheekbones.

“I don’t want to leave you, Buck. I want to stay right here, forever. I just don’t know if I _can._ ” Steve sounded heartbroken at the words from his own mouth, and Bucky pulled him into a hug.

“I know. Like Sam said, we’ll be here regardless. I’ll be here. But you _can_ stay. They don’t own you. You said it yourself, they don’t need _Steve Rogers_ , they need a symbol. Lots of things can be symbols.” Bucky was grumbling now, but something he said must have made Steve realise something, because he froze.

“You’re right. Oh my god, you’re right. You’re a genius!” Steve was grinning suddenly, and Bucky smiled in confusion.

“I thought I was an idiot?” he asked, but he didn’t get an answer, because Steve was kissing him again and suddenly figuring out whether Steve considered him a genius or an idiot became far less important than climbing into Steve’s lap and figuring out exactly what made that blush deepen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Figured Valentine's was an appropriate time to post this chapter?


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter, with an epilogue coming some time next week! I can't believe I've finally finished this story, it took on some elements I could not have imagined when I wrote the first chapter as a drabble last Summer!

Bucky sat on the sofa in the pre-dawn light, curled into Steve’s side as usual. They had paused their makeout session the day before only long enough for Steve to carry Bucky into the bedroom. In the haze surrounding the new surge of emotions which had come from their declarations, they both managed to briefly forget about the question which had hung in the air since Fury’s visit. 

It was hard to believe it had only been a couple of days since the visit. Steve seemed to have come to some sort of decision, but Bucky was too nervous to voice the question, to learn the answer. He just held onto Steve a little tighter, pressed a kiss to his collarbone and felt Steve’s returning kiss to the top of his head. Maybe if they stayed like this, they could just forget. They could stay in this bubble of happiness forever.

“Bucky?” Steve’s voice was soft, and Bucky looked up at him. “I need you to get the shield from the Valkyrie, if it’s still there.” 

There it was. They were done pretending. Bucky crashed back to reality with a jolt.

“If that’s what you want, Steve, then I will. Whatever you want.” Bucky all but forced the words out, but Steve reached out to pull him close again, clearly understanding how he felt.

“I promise I’m not leaving you, okay? You won’t lose me.” Steve fixed him with a look, so honest and open that Bucky had to nod, had to trust his word. 

“Okay, Steve. I’ll head out now, while it’s early. Before people head out to the beach for their morning walks.” He stood and stretched briefly before going to get his coat. When he got back, Steve was standing at the door, ready to pull him into a hug. Bucky leaned up to kiss Steve, soft and tender, before they pulled apart. 

“Thank you, Buck.” Steve smiled softly at him, then his eyes drifted to Bucky’s coat, on which he had seemingly inadvertently rested his hand. He stroked it absently before stepping away fully. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”

Bucky’s heart thundered as he nodded and walked out his front door, making his way down to the little cove where he could safely transform. He only let his eyes linger momentarily on the spot where Steve’s fingers had caressed his coat, but he couldn’t help but wonder what the look had meant. Now that he knew Steve felt the same way he did, could it be possible he might want the same thing too? Could he want Bucky to give him his coat?

It was too soon just yet, this thing between them still too young, but maybe someday. Bucky smiled and put on the coat, transforming and slipping beneath the waves effortlessly. 

He swam down to the valkyrie, darker and emptier than it had ever been while Steve was there. It felt more like a wreckage now. He looked around, trying to remember where the shield had been and finally locating it under a control panel. He swam over and tried to nose it out of its spot. It didn’t budge. 

Okay, how to do this? It didn’t look to be frozen in place, not the way Steve had been at least. It was just stuck, wedged under some parts which had collapsed in the intervening years. He wriggled his way in behind it and pushed. At first, nothing happened, but then he felt something give. 

Another push, and the shield was freed from its spot, but it sent a large amount of rubble and rusted electronics tumbling down around him. Bucky dodged and swam around them to the best of his ability, grabbing the shield’s leather straps in his mouth and swimming away from the wreckage. Before he was clear, he felt something hit his side, almost making him drop the prize and sending a jolt of pain along his left flipper. He kept going, making his way out of the wreck and towards the shore. He made it to the surface and dragged the shield to dry land before laying down to catch his breath.

There was a warmth spreading on his side, and when he craned his head back he spotted a small trickle of blood. He transformed back into his human form, pulling back on the pajama pants which were all he had worn down in the first place, and examined the wound further. It was a long gash, from his shoulder down to his elbow. It didn’t look too deep, but it stung as the saltwater ran down from his hair and over the cut.

He stood, gritting his teeth against the pain. He picked up the shield in his right arm, put his coat over his shoulders, and made his way back home. 

“Steve, could you grab the first aid kit?” he called, voice coming out harsher than he intended. He dropped the shield just inside the door and headed straight into the bathroom to clean the wound. He sat on the edge of the bathtub and Steve was there within seconds, fussing over him and pressing frantic kisses to his face, his hair, his hand. 

“Oh fuck, what happened? Buck?” Bucky smiled weakly up at him, then reached up with his right hand to pull Steve in and touch their foreheads together.

“I’m fine, it’s not a deep cut. Just need a hand cleaning it up and bandaging it. I accidentally knocked some stuff while I was getting the shield out.” He hissed when Steve pulled back and touched the skin around the cut tenderly.

“It looks pretty serious, are you sure—”

“I’m sure, sweetheart. I’ll be fine.”

“So he’s sweetheart, now? About damn time.” Bucky looked up abruptly to see Sam lingering in the hallway, looking smug. Bucky blushed and grinned sheepishly.

“Oh, you’re here. I thought—”

“Yeah, I’m here. Now, since only one of us here has any first aid training, I’m gonna need to be the judge of whether or not you’re fine.” Sam looked at Bucky for permission before stepping into the room, and Steve moved aside reluctantly, sitting on Bucky’s good side. The room was not designed to hold three fully grown men, but they managed to fit in somehow. Bucky found himself pressed into Steve’s space, and Steve wrapped an arm around his waist protectively while Sam looked him over. Sam only rolled his eyes at them once while he patched up Bucky’s arm.

“Well, looks like you were right about it being shallow, at least. But still, it’s best to keep an eye out for infection, who knows what was on whatever scratched you, alright?” Sam had his serious face on, so Bucky nodded.

“Yes, mom,” he couldn’t resist the quip. Sam narrowed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“All right. Why don’t we get out of this bathroom, and Steve could finish that sentence he was halfway through when you barged in dramatically looking for first aid?” Sam didn’t wait for an answer before going back into the kitchen, and Bucky scrunched his nose at Steve.

“Sorry for interrupting,” he said, but Steve just cupped his face and kissed him softly.

“Don’t you dare apologise. I’m just glad you’re okay. If it’d been worse… I was the one who asked you to go, I should—”

“No,” Bucky interrupted, putting a finger over Steve’s lips. “Not your fault, I was just a dumbass who didn’t bother to come up with a plan first. It’s all fine, okay?”

Steve sighed and nodded, and Bucky figured that was the best he was going to get.

“You go out to Sam, I’m just going to get dressed, okay?” 

Steve nodded and stood from where he was seated. 

“Call out if you need anything, okay?” He was still holding Bucky’s hand, so he lifted it up and pressed a kiss to the knuckles there. Bucky watched him leave before picking himself up and going into his room, picking up his coat from where it had slipped into the tub. He sat on the bed and ran his hands over the silky skin, checking for damage. There was a slit cut into the left side, right where his flipper would be. He’d need to sew it closed before he transformed again, or he’d risk reopening the wound. He had gotten incredibly lucky, he realised. The cut wasn’t that deep on his arm, but if it had hit him just a little bit harder, if he hadn’t dodged in time, it could have been so much worse.

He set the coat aside for now, though. One thing at a time. He needed to know why Steve had wanted the shield back in the first place.

He pulled on a pair of sweatpants and one of Steve’s sweatshirts, keeping his arm inside rather than putting it through the sleeve, and went out to join them in the living room. He was surprised to see a third figure there along with Sam and Steve. 

“Oh, hi,” he said, looking from her to Sam and beginning to put two and two together. Based on their conversation the other day, this must be Sam’s _Black Widow_ friend, but there was something about her that made Bucky look at her twice. She had red hair which hung around her shoulders and she carried herself with an ease which was clearly disguising a state of constant alert. Bucky had no doubt that if she had truly wanted to appear harmless and relaxed, she could have done so, but she was making sure both he and Steve knew she meant business. Bucky could appreciate that. But that wasn’t what caught his eye about her.

“You must be the selkie? Nice to meet you, I’m Natasha.”

“Right. I’m Bucky.” He reached out to shake her hand, and froze at the contact, eyes widening. “Sam never mentioned you were—”

“Coming today? Yeah, I had some free time, so I decided to head over.” Her eyes flashed, and Bucky realised she didn’t want the others to know she wasn’t as human as she appeared. He nodded and stepped back. Sam was looking between them, a bemused expression on his face.

“Natasha was just filling me in on the Avengers initiative — Fury’s group. It sounds like he has some good ideas there, they could really do some good,” Steve piped up, holding out one hand to beckon Bucky over to him. Bucky crossed the room and sat next to Steve, who put an arm around him protectively, carefully avoiding his injured arm. 

“I do have to ask, Steve,” Natasha said, “though I have a feeling I know what your answer is going to be already.” 

Steve smiled grimly. “Yeah, I know. I can’t go back to fighting. I’m not saying _never_ , just not now. I have no objection to consulting, though. I can help train if there’s anyone who needs it, or I can consult, but I can’t have an active role. I need peace,” Steve said firmly, and Bucky felt himself unclench subconsciously. Natasha nodded in understanding. 

Sam looked between them, brows furrowed, then nodded to the doorway where the shield was resting just in sight. “So why is that here?” he asked. Steve smiled in response.

“Glad you asked. Just because _I_ can’t join them, doesn’t mean the initiative can’t have Captain America. The title’s just that — a title. _He_ isn’t me. Someone else should carry the shield.” 

Steve’s eyes darted to Sam, who appeared shocked. Natasha looked between both of them with an eyebrow raised as Steve stood to retrieve the shield, carrying it with an effortlessness Bucky now knew wasn’t as easy as it looked. 

“Fury said he wanted a legacy, but I don’t think my legacy would be the best one for the team. I think a new one would be more powerful.” Steve sounded as though he were thinking aloud, but Bucky had a feeling this had been playing on his mind since the idea of Cap’s return had been suggested to him.

“But, who—” Bucky started, and Steve turned to face Sam fully, expression open and clear as he held out the shield.

“Wait, me? Steve, I don’t—” Sam’s eyes were wide in surprise, fixed on the shield.

“I know you got out for a good reason, and I respect that. If you aren’t interested, then no harm done, I can try find someone else. But for what it’s worth, I think you’ve got what it takes, and I trust you to wield it well.” 

Sam reached out and took hold of the shield.

“You’re actually serious about this?” he asked, and Steve nodded without hesitation. 

“You’re a good man, Sam.” Sam hooked his arm into the frayed and waterlogged strap and tested the weight.

“I did say I’d consider getting back in for the right cause. I don’t know if there’s any better cause than saving the world, is there?” Steve huffed a laugh and shrugged.

“So you’re gonna do it?” Natasha asked, and Sam looked up at her. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly before nodding.

“I’ll do my best.”

“I know you will.” Steve reached out and laid a hand on Sam’s shoulder. “Thank you.” 

There was silence for a moment, the weight of the moment tangible in the air, and then Natasha stood up.

“Well, I should probably report back. I’ll see you boys later, okay?” Steve nodded to her and Bucky hesitated only briefly before following after her when she left the room.

“Rusalka,” she said, as soon as the front door closed behind them, though she didn’t even turn to check it was Bucky behind her. “That’s what I am”

“Oh,” Bucky responded. “Sam doesn’t know?” 

She shrugged. “He suspects, I think. I just don’t go around advertising it. Not exactly the best reputation, you know?” Her tone was bitter, and Bucky understood. He never had much interaction with other creatures, but his brain had conjured up images of danger at the name, of predators who would lure men to the bottom of a river and keep them there until life slipped from their bodies. A shudder ran down his spine at the thought, and he nodded.

“It’s not true, by the way,” she amended. “Whatever you’re picturing right now. We don’t— I don’t... Not by choice, anyway.” Bucky nodded, and to his surprise found that he believed her.

“Actually, I was just wondering how you’re _here_. Shouldn’t you be bound to the water?” He sent a challenging smile in her direction, and she smirked.

“Fair enough.” She lifted a foot, indicating her shoes. “Just gotta keep my feet in the water — special insoles.” She winked, and Bucky genuinely couldn’t tell if she was fucking with him or not. Before he could question her further, the door opened and Sam emerged, Steve not far behind.

Sam still held the shield, still a little tense and without the same ease as Steve, but Bucky could tell he was already becoming accustomed to the weight.

“I’ll be in touch, Steve. I’m sure the team will appreciate your offer to consult,” Natasha called over her shoulder as she began to walk away. She paused and snorted, before adding, “or at least, some of them might.” 

Sam made to leave after her, but Bucky stopped him, pulling him back into an awkward, one-armed hug, while Sam held the shield out of the way..

“Can’t believe my dumbass best friend is about to be a superhero,” he mumbled, clapping Sam on the back.

“Yeah, well _my_ best friend turns into an aquatic animal, so why don’t we call it even? Besides, it’s your own fault for resurrecting and then falling for _Mr. Original Recipe_ over there,” Sam retorted, though his voice was fond. 

“That make you _Mr. New and Improved_?” Bucky raised an eyebrow at him as Sam backed away, shrugging loosely.

“You said it, not me!” He turned and followed Natasha down the path to his house, and Bucky turned to meet Steve in the doorway. 

“You doing okay with all this, Stevie?” Bucky asked. Steve wrapped his arms around him, holding him close with one hand resting protectively in his hair.

“Yeah, I am. Why don’t we go inside? There’s a movie I’ve been meaning to watch, Becca mentioned I might like it the other day.” Bucky nodded and reached up to kiss Steve. He recognised the request for what it was — Steve needed a return to normality, and Bucky was happy to provide it. They made their way back into the house and lay entwined on the sofa while the movie played on the TV. Bucky fell asleep almost immediately, the adrenaline of the morning finally catching up to him as he lay safe in Steve’s arms. 

They woke as the sun was beginning to set, and met each other’s eyes fondly.

Bucky nestled closer into Steve’s chest and hummed in contentment. He couldn’t wait to get used to this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did some research into what type of creature Natasha might be, but I hadn't much knowledge of Russian/Slavic mythology so please be kind! If anything seems particularly glaringly wrong, feel free to let me know!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And here we are! Thanks to everyone who's followed along so far, I hope you enjoy this final installment! It's been so much fun <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo, you may have noticed this is now part of a series! I've wrapped up this story, but there are a lot more ideas I wasn't able to fit into this narrative, so if you want more Sam, Nat, Steve POV, and other scenes from this 'verse, stay tuned!

The weeks since Steve passed the Shield over to Sam had been quiet, all things considered. Bucky’s life continued mostly uninterrupted. He went to work, gossipped with the locals who came into the little corner store where he worked for their milk or bread, and chatted with the few tourists who happened to come around in the winter while they browsed the trinkets on sale. He went home to Steve, and they cuddled on the sofa just as they always had, though now it was usually accompanied with kissing.

Not everything was the same, of course. Sam was around less, travelling back and forth to DC and New York for Avengers training and “team bonding” — which Bucky was reliably informed mostly consisted of Tony Stark attempting to get everyone drunk. When Sam _was_ around, he spent most of his time with Steve, learning how to throw the shield. Bucky usually took the opportunity of a distracted Steve to go for a swim.

Sam was staying for dinner today, though, because it was Bucky’s birthday. He hadn’t wanted to make too big of a deal out of it so they agreed on a quiet dinner at home, just the three of them, before Sam had to go back. He and Steve would be going to visit Winnie at the weekend, where they’d have another small celebration.

So Bucky cut his swim short and went in to spend time with Sam instead. When he got inside, Sam was in the living room with the telltale sound of clattering pots and pans coming from the kitchen.

“He decided he wanted to cook. Figured we can just get takeout if it’s shit, so I let him,” Sam said, at Bucky’s surprised face.

“I heard that!” Steve called out, and Bucky went to look in. Steve was indeed standing at the stove, and the smell coming from whatever he was making wasn’t _un_ pleasant, so Bucky decided to leave him to it, grabbing a glass of water and going back out to Sam.

“So, how’s training going?” he asked, flopping down on the armchair.

“Oh, you know. A lot of ego, a lot of dudes posturing. Nothing new,” Sam shrugged and took a sip from the beer he was cradling. Bucky laughed.

“And Natasha?” he asked, watching Sam’s reaction carefully. He shrugged nonchalantly, but Bucky saw the way his eyes crinkled in the corners and the smile which almost crept across his face.

“She’s fine.” Sam’s voice was carefully even, and Bucky grinned, raising an eyebrow.

“Good to hear,” he answered, his voice light and clearly communicating amusement.

“Shut the fuck up, man, I know what you’re trying to imply and I’m not falling for it,” Sam grumped.

Bucky just shrugged. “I didn’t say anything, Sam. Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Sam narrowed his eyes, opening his mouth to retort when Steve called them in for dinner.

“You’re an asshole.” Sam tried to get the last word in, walking towards the kitchen.

Bucky called after him, “And _you’ve_ got a crush! It’s fine to admit it!” Steve was dishing up the food when Bucky entered the kitchen. He put the bowls on the table and sat down, face adorably nervous as he watched both Sam and Bucky, waiting for their verdict.

Bucky sat next to Steve, leaning over to kiss him before turning his attention to the food.

Sam stuck his tongue out at Bucky when Steve’s back was turned, and Bucky shot him a withering look in return. “Smells great, Steve. What is it?”

Steve launched into an explanation which took a lot of words to amount to a classic Irish stew.

Bucky eyed it, and determined it at least appeared edible. He glanced up at Sam, who seemed to have come to the same verdict. They both shrugged and braced for the first bite.

“Oh come on, have a _little_ faith in me!” Steve protested, and Bucky fought a giggle.

“I’m just being cautious, man. One of the first things you told me when we first hung out was how bad you were at cooking,” Sam explained with a shrug, but he loaded his spoon up anyway and raised it in a toast.

“It’s just boiled meat and vegetables in stock with some Guinness, even I couldn’t fuck this up,” Steve argued. It sounded to Bucky as though he were trying to convince himself as much as them. Sam still hadn’t actually brought his spoon to his mouth, and Bucky noticed Steve hadn’t started eating yet either. Bucky scoffed and decided to take the plunge.

He took a large spoonful, getting meat and potato together, and carefully raised it to his mouth. He chewed thoughtfully, and smiled through the mouthful. The meat was reasonably tender, and the broth was well flavoured, even if it could have benefitted from more seasoning.

“It’s good, sweetheart. Thanks for cooking,” Bucky reached over to take Steve’s hand and smiled reassuringly. Sam sighed in relief and began to dig in, and Steve relaxed perceptively.

“Oh thank fuck,” he sighed, starting to eat too. They were quiet for a while as they ate, and Sam even went back for a second helping after practically inhaling his stew. Steve’s proud little smile set Bucky’s heart fluttering, a reminder that Steve was actually happy here, didn’t need to go off and fight, didn’t regret his choice to stay with Bucky.

Sam had to leave early the next morning for some secret Avengers related meeting which Bucky suspected was just an excuse to spend more time with Natasha, but he didn’t press on with his teasing. After cake, Sam got up to turn in early, and Bucky asked him to wait, grabbing something from the cupboard and walking him out. He handed it over, and Sam looked at him in confusion.

“Last I checked, it was your birthday, not mine. Shouldn’t this be the other way round?” Sam asked.

“Well, you didn’t get _me_ anything, so maybe I got confused,” Bucky sighed in the most dramatic fashion he could manage.

Sam spluttered indignantly. “You said not to! I swear, if you—”

“Calm down, I’m kidding. I really didn’t want anything, but this is just something to remember me by when you’re off saving the world and shit.” He held out the item again, and Sam laughed when he finally looked at it. It was a mug, one Sam had bought for him years before as a joke. It had a picture of a seal on it, and the words “Seal of approval”.

It had been shortly after Sam had figured out what he was, and it always made Bucky smile to look at it.

“Dude, you’re my best friend. I’m not gonna forget about you,” Sam’s tone was clearly trying to be light and teasing, but Bucky could detect the feeling behind it.

“I know. I still want you to have it. I have plenty more.” Bucky shrugged and put a hand on Sam’s shoulder, only to be pulled in for a practically bone crushing hug. He laughed and hugged Sam back, clapping him on the back.

They pulled apart, and Sam nodded.

“Thanks, Bucky,” he said, then smiled. “But, just so you know, I lied.” Bucky frowned at him. “I actually did get you a birthday present. It’s inside.” Bucky looked over his shoulder at the house.

“Really?”

“It’s tradition, don’t act all surprised. Now go on back to your man, I’ll be back before you know it, alright?” Sam turned and walked off.

“Go save the world, Cap!” Bucky grinned and waved him off before doing as he was told and going back inside to Steve. He knew Sam was right, and he wouldn't be gone forever, but it was still tough.

Training was one thing, but Bucky wasn’t sure how he’d manage if world-saving did become an actual concern for the Avengers. How he’d handle watching his best friend out there fighting, putting himself at risk. He knew Sam was more than capable, but it was still hard to imagine.

Bucky tried to help Steve with the dishes when he went back in, but Steve stopped him with a look.

“It’s your birthday. No dishes for you.” Steve pulled him into a kiss, rendering Bucky’s attempt at a pout futile. “He’ll be fine, Buck. I promise.” Bucky melted against Steve’s chest, resting his head in the crook of his neck.

“I know. I believe in him, but it’s still scary, you know?” Bucky sighed and pulled away. “Anyway, where’s this gift he left for me?”

Steve laughed and pointed to a gift bag which had been left under the table, just out of sight. Bucky picked it up and pulled out the gift, bursting into laughter when he saw it. Sam had truly outdone himself this time, Bucky decided.

True to tradition, it was a novelty seal-themed item, this time a shirt with a printed picture of a seal wearing a pointed cap which bore the caption “IMBESEAL”. He turned it around to show Steve, who snorted.

“I’ll never understand your friendship,” Steve muttered, turning back to finish the dishes.

Bucky laughed and folded the shirt up to put it in his closet. When he came back into the kitchen after putting it away, Steve was standing waiting for him.

“So, I was thinking,” he said, looking as nervous as he had about the food earlier. Bucky crossed over to kiss him again, running a hand through his hair the way he knew relieved Steve’s anxiety a little. Steve leaned into the touch like a puppy, exactly as Bucky knew he would.

“What is it?”

“Well, it’s just that it’s your birthday, which means it’s been a year since… you know…”

“Since I pulled you from the ice like a knight in shining sealskin, yes,” Bucky grinned and Steve blushed.

“Yeah, that. I was wondering, I mean, I thought... I’d like to go with you to swim,” he said after a beat.

“Are you sure?” Bucky asked. “I know the water is…” Steve shrugged.

“I’m sure. I can’t actually go _in_ the water, but I'd like to be near. To see you transform, watch you under the water.” A tendril of excitement began to unfurl in Bucky’s chest as he nodded.

“I know just the place. When do you want to—”

“Now?” Steve interrupted, and Bucky practically beamed.

“Let me grab my sealskin?” he asked, already backing away to get it from where he’d left it in the bathroom when he’d come in earlier.

They walked down to the beach together, and Bucky led Steve to a section of the shore where the rocks jutted out, forming a large but shallow rock pool. Bucky hesitated, holding his sealskin to his chest. Steve reached out and ran a finger along it, over the thin line of scarring which had been left after Bucky had sewn up the cut from his final visit to the Valkyrie.

“Is everything okay?” Steve asked, and Bucky nodded. He kissed Steve with a smile.

“I just love you,” he said simply, and Steve looked delighted.

“Love you too. Now go swim!” Steve sat down on the rocky outcrop, face radiating joy.

Bucky laughed and pulled on the sealskin, feeling the transformation come over him. He nuzzled his snout into Steve’s side. Steve stroked his short, soft fur, and Bucky almost wanted to just stay here.

But the sea was calling out to him, so he pulled himself away and slipped beneath the surface, staying close to Steve and coming up more often than he usually would. Steve reached out and trailed his hand through the water, skimming Bucky’s skin when he came near. After a few minutes, he came back out and transformed back, but not before flopping himself on top of Steve, pressing his wet snout into his face and pulling a spluttering laugh from Steve’s chest.

Steve handed him a towel, and Bucky hummed in surprise when he was back to his human form, pulling it around himself and accepting Steve’s hug.

“You ready to go back in already?” Steve asked, and Bucky hesitated, coming to a decision suddenly, though he knew it had been building for a while.

“Not quite yet, I think,” he said, moving so he was facing Steve at eye level, both of them kneeling on the rocks. He was still holding his sealskin, and he looked down at it. Steve followed his gaze, and Bucky took a deep breath.

“What is it, Buck?” Steve asked.

“I just... A year ago, you were my imaginary friend, and now you’re one of the most important people in my life. It’s sometimes hard to believe, you know?” Bucky started talking, and looked up in time to see Steve’s nod. “This day last year, I gave you my sealskin to keep you warm, and I don’t know why or how, but it brought you back to me. I didn’t know you then, not really. I didn’t let you give it back to me.”

He finally found the courage to meet Steve’s eyes, and it almost knocked all the words from his mouth, but he somehow managed to keep going in spite of the expression he found there.

“I know you now, Steve. I want — If you want it too, of course — I want to give you my coat again. And I’d like it — in fact I’d _love_ it — if you wanted to give it back,” he finished, biting his lip nervously and looking for any inclination of Steve’s answer in his eyes.

“Are you sure, Buck?” he asked, and Bucky nodded without hesitation or doubt.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything, Stevie.” And it was true, he realised, as he said it. He remembered his mother’s words about how he’d know when he found the right person. He’d scoffed at her when she’d told him at first, but he got it now.

“Then, yes. Absolutely,” Steve answered, his smile growing somehow wider. Bucky laughed in relief, throwing himself forward to pull Steve into a kiss, heart full. It was a full minute before he managed to pull away long enough to hold out the sealskin, and Steve took it reverently. When Steve pressed his lips to the fur before handing it back a few minutes later, after letting his fingers glide over the creases and ripples in a way that Bucky could almost feel on his own skin, Bucky felt a profound sense of _right_.

They walked back home together, shoulders brushing as they carried the coat between them.

Bucky wondered how his mom would react to the news, but somewhere in the back of his mind he knew she wouldn’t be surprised, she’d have seen this coming all along.


End file.
